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amateur

Sweded Porn: Be Kind, Rewind, And Undress

Anyone who saw the Jack Black/Mos Def/Michel Gondry film "Be Kind Rewind" earlier this year already understands the joy of being "Sweded." If you didn't see it—well, it's a bit complicated, but basically a Sweded film is an amateur remake of a classic movie using homemade props and your friends as actors, which is how the main characters in "Be Kind" save their small town video store from greedy land developers. (It made more sense at the time.) The marketing department at video sharing site Shufuni must have seen it too, because now they're asking users to make their own Sweded movies—but with nudity and sex, of course. And they're offering prizes to the best interpretations. More »

11:05 AM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By Dashiell Bennett
4,637 views, Comment

Talk about a rough vacation: all the guests get food poisoning in the hotel restaurant, a family is accused of stealing towels when they try to check out, then security guards shoot a teenage girl in the face with a stun gun, leading to an all-out brawl by the front desk. On the bright side, the whole family did get to see the porn movie being filmed in the hotel lobby. See, Bulgaria isn't so bad! (sundaymail.co.uk; thumb via orgymax.com, via askjolene.com)

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"Number One Plus" is a water-based lubricant that was designed and produced for sex workers in Cambodia. It's cheap, effective ... and it also cures acne! So you know ... go ahead and get your face right in there. (telegraph.co.uk, via sex-and-blogs.com)

1 comment

Great Moments In Acting History How did Christopher Plummer's syphilis scare turn William Shatner into a movie star? Just think—if Captain Von Trap doesn't hurt himself shacking up with a one-night stand, T.J. Hooker might not have been! So that guy has a lot to answer for. (imdb.com)

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An Australian preacher has a very good reason for pretending he had cancer and lying about it to his own parishioners for over two years—he was addicted to porn, of course! Pornography: Is there anything we can't blame on it? (news.com.au)

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Not content with LOLcats—or LOLporn, for that matter—the folks at "I Can Has Cheezburger" have launched a funny Engrish site and what do you know ... pretty much all Japanese-to-English translations end up sounding hilariously filthy. Yes, that sign is offering cunt examinations. And yes, we are easily amused. (engrishfunny.com)

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Believe it or not, this is not an ad for body wash or condoms ... although we guess rubber wet suits are kind of like condoms. Not that anyone would wear one in the ad, of course. (sex-happy.blogspot.com)

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Tiddy Bear Saves Your Life And Hugs Your Titties! We just stumbled upon this clever Saturday Night Live-style commercial spoof on YouTube and it is hilarious! Just the idea that someone would spend $14.95 to solve the deadly problem of seat belt irritation is pretty funny, but the way they mock those pseudo-subliminal infomercial sales pitches is just perfect! Having the announcer say "Tiddy Bear" over and over again as women in low-cut tank tops press a plush toy firmly between their breasts sure is an hysterical take on goofy, ill-conceived advertising! Click the thumbnail and check out the video below—they really nailed this one!

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Ernest Borgnine is 91 years old, but he has a very simple secret for his longevity: Jerking off, and lots of it. Thankfully, he decided to share this tidbit with a live national TV audience. So is that what "The Dirty Dozen" was about? (video @ bestweekever.tv)

4 comments

fetish

Japanese Porn Covers Reveal The Fetishes That Cannot Be Spoken

A big part of what gives Japanese porn its WTF factor is that most native English speakers can't even being to translate the language. It's a thin line between a simple schoolgirl fantasy and an unintelligible cosplay orgy, and a few hours at your local karaoke bar won't be enough education to clue you in. So while this blog we've stumbled across seems to be a simple catalog of DVD releases complete with front and back cover art and screenshots, it won't take you long to feel like you're in over your head at some insane Tokyo fetish club. Then again, something like this would be confusing in pretty much any dialect.

· Japanese Porn DVDs (obscenely.blog121.fc2.com, via Otomano)

11:30 AM on Tue Aug 12 2008
By Dashiell Bennett
9,942 views, 2 comments

Latest by N/A: Anyone down for some translations? Well I'll hold back since my Japanese is not perfect, plus the "bath" one is so more »

From the comments: A man in Colorado has been trying to scam free porn by claiming to be from the police department's "age verification unit" and demanding that a local sex shop give him DVDs to inspect. (They didn't fall for it.) Maybe he should go back to his day job at the FBI. (yahoo.com + choiceshirts.com, thanks to BigRedOne)

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Germans are apparently complaining that they can't go on vacation to Turkey without the Russians coming down and spoiling everything with their "whores and vodka". Um, aren't whores and vodka pretty much the reason you would go on vacation to begin with? (thelocal.de; thumb and vodka gallery via assexyasitgets.com)

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The poor fellow underneath the sheet here is not dead—he's merely being extracted from a rather delicate situation. And by that we mean his penis is being extracted from the steel bench that he tried to hump. Just so you know, if you're desperate to try a metal cock ring there are better ways to go about it. (weirdasianews.com)

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Here's a tip for Craigslist casual encounters fans: If you're going to meet a stranger for some light bondage play, maybe do it in a nice quiet hotel room so, you know ... innocent bystanders don't think you are raping a bound-and-gagged kidnap victim in a public park. It makes it much harder to explain things to your wife later. (katu.com)

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politics

Cindy McCain Gone Wild?

John McCain told a crowd of tattooed bikers at the Sturgis motorcycle rally that his wife, Cindy, would make an excellent candidate for the local beauty pageant, Miss Buffalo Chip. What does he think her strongest event would be? The wet t-shirt contest or the pickle licking demonstration? If only we could pick all our First Ladies this way. (Click thumbnail for video.) More »

11:05 AM on Wed Aug 6 2008
By Dashiell Bennett
3,926 views, 1 comment

Latest by josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you: John Mc Cain equals Bulworth? more »

Behold the "bullet-proof" police bra! OK, so it's not really bulletproof—just specially designed to be worn with bulletproof vests. Still, we can't wait for our next strip search. (Those do work both ways, right?) (bbc.co.uk)

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latex

Latex Clothing Takes You Back To The Future Of Fetish

Using creative and visually stimulating marketing practices to sell your latex clothing is all the rage these days—but did you know that this practice has been around for years? Decades, even! A curious fetishist has uncovered an old catalog dating from (defunct?) Canadian fashion outlet Inn Skin, dating back to what looks like the late 1970s and shot in what looks like our parents' rec room. It's safe to say that the latex fetishist of that era may have found themselves severely disappointed in the styles of the time. A loose flowing latex bikini is probably not what they have in mind when you think of that fabric—but then again those full-length pajamas look mighty comfortable. Check out a few more pages below and you'll see the one thing that hasn't changed—flashy advertising and some hilariously dated pictures can sell anything! More »

10:55 AM on Mon Aug 4 2008
By Dashiell Bennett
2,832 views, Comment

Existentialist bug fan Franz Kafka apparently left behind a rather sizable collection of hardcore porn stories that “academics have pretended did not exist," because they don't want to sully the reputation of a sad, depressive whose sole preoccupation was the pain and futility of modern life. Not surprisingly, the smut is described as "dark" and "unpleasant" ... perhaps even Kafkaesque! (timesonline.co.uk)

3 comments

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