Fleshbot: Technology

Some Congresspersons displaying a not very ...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:25:08 EDT

Some Congresspersons displaying a not very firm grasp of technology are pushing for an alternative internet that is completely free—and also devoid of porn. You might as well ask for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that is also free of peanut butter, because what would be the point? (xbiz.com)

Looks like the venerable tradition of Japanese ...

Fleshbot — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:45:46 EDT

Looks like the venerable tradition of Japanese tentacle porn isn't just confined to dirty manga or the occasional video clip anymore—you can now enjoy all that hot slithery action on your Nintendo DS screen too! We're still holding out for someone to create a Wii version using motion sensors and a balance board for that extra added touch of realism, however. Just think of all the calories you'd burn off trying to escape from your virtual octopod paramour's evil clutches ... (kotaku.com)

Dark Room Sex Game: Sex With The Lights Off (And Clothes On)

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 11:45:17 EDT

You've used your Wii to improve your baseball game and your bowling skills. So why not play something that'll actually help you improve something useful, like your ability to achieve mutual orgasm with your partner? Dark Room Sex Game, an "multiplayer, erotic rhythm game without any visuals," allows players to work together to find a rhythm, then gradually speed up until ... well, you get the idea. If the two player mode is a piece of cake, you can witch to "orgy mode" and swap partners to your heart's content. It may not be as fun as actually getting it on while playing with the Wii, but it's probably the only way you'll get your hot best friend to show you her O face. Demonstration video after the jump.

. . .

· Dark Room Sex Game (itu.dk)

If Twitter's not doing enough to keep track ...

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:10:18 EDT

If Twitter's not doing enough to keep track of your sex life, consider switching to Bedposted. Currently in beta, the site promises to help you keep track of how often you get busy, and eventually give you some insight into your sex life. The only catch? You have to sign into Bedposted after every time you have sex. If you haven't fallen asleep first, that is. (bedposted.com, thumb via Gizmodo)

Still More iPhone Perv News

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:45:03 EDT

Did you know that every time you snap a picture on the Japanese version of the iPhone 3G it will make an audible "shutter click" noise that you can't turn off, even when the phone is on silent mode? Why? So upskirt fiends can't do their dirty work undetected! (Actually, almost all new phones in Japan are supposed to do this, but now that it's an iPhone story ... ZOMG! Apple porn!!%!#@$!!!!1!) (Gizmodo)

And another friendly reminder to everyone ...

Fleshbot — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:20:35 EDT

And another friendly reminder to everyone itching to look at smut on their shiny new iPhones today: you can check out Fleshbot's previous iPhone porn coverage here, here, here, here, and here, among other places. Assuming you got yours activated, that is; otherwise you're just going to have to get your fap on the old fashioned way. Ever hear of this thing called the internet?

We've already gone into a fair amount of ...

Fleshbot — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 09:25:55 EDT

We've already gone into a fair amount of detail about why that promised iPhone 3G porn revolution certain big media outlets seem so obsessed with lately is just a load of hooey—but it never hurts to have a second opinion about these things. Even if we still seem to be the only ones who think RubMyClit is the best reason to buy an iPhone in the first place. (sfgate.com)

iPhone Porn 2.0: Here We Go Again

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:15:32 EDT

In case you haven't already heard, July 11th is the first day of the rest of your life. That's the day iPhone 3G 2.0: Electric Cellphone Boogaloo will descend from the heavens and bathe us all in the healing light of subsidized mobile interweb global positioning touch screen perfection. But what does that really mean for you, exactly? Lots and lots of porn, of course! Adult content producers are salivating at the idea of providing you with smut on the go, and the mainstream media is fairly frothing at the mouth just yapping about it. The world has changed, people!

Except ... didn't we go through all this last year?

Porn sites that cater to the iPhone have been around since before the first model even launched, and while they'll load a little faster now there's nothing new or unique about them. And let's not forget that mobile porn has been heating up Europe and Asia for years without any help from Apple, thank you very much. So the business of sending people porn via their mobile phone is fundamentally still the same.

Most importantly, the porn itself hasn't changed. It's still people fucking, only smaller—and since you can't jerk off on the subway (yet) having all this filth on the go isn't as helpful as it might seem. The most interesting and clever development to rise out of the iPhone technology is still RubMyClit. Come up with something to top that and then maybe we'll have something to get more excited about.

· "The iPhone's Next Frontier: Porn" + "Turning the iPhone into the xxxPhone" (time.com)

iPhone 3G: Best Porn Phone Ever?

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:20:58 EDT

While our more geeky siblings may be excited about about the iPhone 3G's GPS capabilities and new applications, there's really only one thing that interests us about it: the faster download speeds, which of course means quicker access to porn. And it seems we're not the only ones who are looking forward to rubbing one out to BigSausagePizza.com with greater convenience during work hours, as you'll see in the video below. Really, what else were you going to use that fancy piece of equipment for anyway? Checking those spreadsheets on your Enterprise server? Please.

. . .

· iPhone 3G: Guided Tour from FOD Team and Seth (funnyordie.com)

Getting An Inside Look With The EyeDildo

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 11:50:43 EDT

Desperate to show the world an up close and personal home movie, but a little too lazy and/or technologically disinclined to build your own dildo cam? Get your hands on the EyeDildo, a pretty little toy with a built in camera and cables to connect to your TV so you can see the action in real time! And if you're curious to see how it works without having to find your own test subject, these two lovely ladies are more than happy to demonstrate. (Why you'd be that turned on by extreme cervical closeups is another matter entirely. But hey, to each his/her own!)

· EyeDildo (eyedildo.com, via slashdong.org)

The ShockSpot: Sex Machines Go Even Higher Tech

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 18:20:00 EDT

That invent your own sex toy contest sounds like fun, but if you were thinking of designing a lightweight aluminum alloy thruster/vibration combo fucking machine with a custom-made actuator system and extensible GUI software interface ... don't bother, because it's already been done. Fortunately for the makers of the ShockSpot, though, we don't really understand what most of those terms mean, so there was never any danger of us beating them to the punch. This sleek device looks like something that Wall-E might fall in love with, but it's really just a computer controlled sex toy with customizable vibrating and/or thrusting patterns that you can save, re-use and even share with friends. It's pretty complicated stuff, even if the website looks like it was designed in an entry-level computer science course 12 years ago.

(Oh, and the most shocking part? How about the $2,200 price tag? Guess they won't be giving that idea away anytime soon ... )

· Shockspot.net - Pleasure System (shockspot.net, via Slashdong)

Hide Your Porn DVDs In Mysterious Magic Box

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:03:39 EDT

Porn collectors who want to build a library of filthy, filthy smut inevitably run into two problems—a lack of space and a lack of shame. Because you've spent all your money on DVDs, you probably don't have a house big enough to hold them all, and even though your friends and loved ones are cool with your obsession, maybe you would still prefer that they not know that you own the entire "Rim My Gape" series. Once again, technology saves the day! The Disc Manager 100 holds 100 DVDs in a small white box that is compact, stylish and—most important of all—does not have the word "Cum" or "Whores" written anywhere on it.

It's also digitally connected, can call up and eject your favorite discs at the push of a button, and can even password protect the discs you don't want prying eyes to see. (What it doesn't do, sadly, it play any of these DVDs on your TV. Nobody's perfect.) If you find that you need this level of space-saving security, then this gadget could be the answer. Also: bless your dirty little heart

· Disc Manager 100 (discmakers.com)
· See also: DVD Disc Manager 100 Keeps Your Adult DVDs Safe (Gizmodo)

Scribd is apparently some sort of Web 2.0 ...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 19 May 2008 10:21:02 EDT

Scribd is apparently some sort of Web 2.0 (note the missing vowel) document sharing website that has built up quite a following despite the fact that we've never heard of it. How did they do it? Porn, of course! So naturally, now that the site is popular (and investors are likely getting nervous) they've decided to ban adult content. (That would be upsetting if it wasn't so typical.) Hey, porn bloggers probably need whatever service it is that they provide too! (centernetworks.com + techcrunch.com)

Teledildonics And You: How One Company Could Control The Future Of Sex

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 16 May 2008 14:10:50 EDT

Have you had a orgasm recently? Good for you! Were you helped along with some technical assistance, specifically from a little buzzing friend? Then you probably owe someone money. You see, there's a big little company called Immersion and while we're not sure exactly what they make or build, they do hold pretty much every patent imaginable in the field of haptics or "force feedback" technology (i.e., things that vibrate when you play with them.) That market mostly consists of shaky videogame controllers and teledildonics devices. For example, Immersion has filed and won a lawsuit against Sony that would prevent them from selling their Playstation controllers in the U.S.; it's currently under appeal. Of course, even a company like Immersion doesn't want to get down and dirty with people who make sex toys, so they've licensed their patents that might apply to sexual devices to the mysteriously named Internet Services, LLC—and then let those guys sue sex companies that violate them. If you thought that was confusing, pay attention, because it get weirder ...

After Immersion won its lawsuit against Sony, Internet Services sued them, looking for a cut of the $90 million verdict. But now, halfway through the trial, the lawyer for Internet Services wants off the case and filed a motion to remove himself. So they are now suing him too, in order to force him to stay.

What does all of this have to do with orgasms? Well for starters, if you want to build and sell any sort of vibrating cybersex device, this one company can and probably will sue you for patent infringement unless you license their technology first. (Even a patent lawyer who makes his living doing this stuff doesn't want to work for them anymore, though he won't say why.) If you care about where your next buzz comes from—and who might stand to profit from it—these links might be worth a read.

· Keker & Van Nest wants to get away from client with cybersex patent rights (The Prior Art)
· Who Says Patent Lawsuits Aren't Sexy? (techdirt.com, via gadgets.boingboing.net)
· Immersion vibrates more than your games? (slashdong.org)
· Thumbnail via Slashdong

Our modern university science and engineering ...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 13 May 2008 10:27:55 EDT

Our modern university science and engineering programs bring together the latest technologies with the world's brightest young minds to create the next generation of groundbreaking state-of-the-art innovations—like this giant mechanical nutsack that three NYU students built for a class project. Can you believe the balls on these kids? (testetouch.com [sound warning], via Gizmodo)

The Teeny Weeny USB drive would the perfect ...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 01 May 2008 15:20:56 EDT

The Teeny Weeny USB drive would the perfect place to hide your porn if your porn collection didn't require more hard drive space than the Library of Congress. And you can save the jokes about "pulling out early," because they made that one already. (teenyweenydrive.com)

Up Close And Even More Personal With ... Uh, Whatever You Call This Thing

Fleshbot — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 01:10:27 EDT

With all of the semi-hysterical NSFW warnings they put in before the juicy part starts (literally!), you'd think our brethren at Gizmodo and their readers had never seen an educational video clip featuring an internal vag-o-cam cumshot closeup before. (OK, so maybe we hadn't either, but still. Amateurs!) We know you might be tempted to try this at home after certain DIY tips we've shared with you this week, but ... seriously, don't.

. . .

· "Putting Video Cameras in the WRONG Places (VERY NSFW)" (gizmodo.com)
· Clip via "A Girl's Guide to 21st Century Sex" (2006) (imdb.com)

Previously: Up Close And Very Personal With The DIY Dildo Cam

"The Uncanny Valley": Why Porn Video Games Suck

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 11:15:23 EDT

As readers of this site know all too well, there have been many, many, many attempts to meld interactive video games with hardcore porn, and despite the occasional interesting result it's been pretty much a total failure. Why is this such an impossible task? (Besides a lack of money, creativity and raw computing power?) It has to do with a little rule of animation and robotics known as the "Uncanny Valley." What is that exactly? Well, last week's episode of "30 Rock" provided the clearest, most succinct explanation of the concept that we've heard yet—by breaking it down into a "Star Wars" metaphor, of course. See why your dream of fighting off an alien invasion while boning 3-D Hillary Scott clones is never meant to be.

· 30 Rock (full episode @ hulu.com)
· Uncanny Valley (Wikipedia)

Three months ago the folks at Switched.com ...

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:35:46 EDT

Three months ago the folks at Switched.com made a video at the Adult Entertainment Expo where porn stars discussed their favorite gadgets; assuming you're still interested, you can read more details in this new series of print interviews. We're not sure why it took them so long to transcribe everything, but hey — it was worth the wait to find out more about Jesse Jane's special relationship with her iPhone. (switched.com)

On The Road Again

Fleshbot — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:25:21 EDT

So you have your handy GPS unit loaded up with the address of every strip club from Maine to California, but you're afraid of prying eyes getting all up in your Points Of Interest? Let Nudar's new Stealth GPS database show you the quickest way to the nearest "muffler shop" or "headlight service" instead? (They're really strip clubs, though! Get it?) (nudar.com)

World's First 4-D Sex Tape! (At Least We Think Someone Is Having Sex Here)

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Mary Roach's "Bonk" (not to be confused with this or this) takes a look at the research of sexual physiology—in other words, what's really going on with our bodies when we fuck, and believe it or not no one really knows for sure. From Leonardo Da Vinci's "coital interlocking" theory to the frustrated egg breakers of today, lots of people have tried and failed to figure out exactly how Bolt A fits into Slot B. The latest attempt involves 4-D ultrasound movies that can look inside us in real time, and it also involves Mary and her husband, who became the first sexual guinea pigs to be filmed internally while getting it on. She can explain the whole thing better in the video below, and though it may seem a little dry we promise you'll be rewarded with some hot 4-D porn if you watch the whole thing. (Unfortunately, like most ultrasounds, you still need a doctor to tell you where the penis is. Still!)

. . .

· Sex Research (slatev.com, via dailybedpost.com)
· Buy: Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex (amazon.com)

Sexy Art Gallery Serves Up Some Hot Joystick Action

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:45:05 EDT

We just have one question about this collection of art works that was sent to us by the good people at Sexy Art Gallery (well, besides, "Why haven't you put these on your website?"): Where oh where can we get a copy of the video game that they're playing? This one definitely gets our vote for best use of a joystick ever ... not to mention a rabbit vibe, though we have to admit we were pretty good at using those already. Full gallery after the jump.

. . .

Photography: Noa Yafe · Art Director: Siren E. · Models: Momo, Zaki · Thanks: D. Laniado
Art courtesy Sexy Art Gallery

Ever wish you could control your computer ...

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 10:39:57 EDT

Ever wish you could control your computer with your peen? (Really, who hasn't?) Finally, someone's created a way to do just that: the Interactive Fleshlight, which our pal qDot at Slashdong reminds us "is an input /only/ device". And not only can you use your joystick as a, uh, joystick ... you can also play a crappy sex game with it! What will they think of next? (slashdong.org)

Does Tumblelog porn still require too much ...

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:52:11 EDT

Does Tumblelog porn still require too much scrolling for you? Behold an even easier way to get your rapid-fire smut fix: tumbollages, or collages of Tumblr images. Now if only they could find a way to just directly beam images of boobs right into our brain, it would save even more time! (fluffylychees.blogspot.com)

We've been tempted and ultimately disappointed ...

Fleshbot — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:58:06 EDT

We've been tempted and ultimately disappointed by the prospect of 3D porn before, but we're willing to forget about all those less-than-satisfying past experiences if Score's new "Rack-O-Rama" DVD package (complete with a pair of anaglyph viewing glasses) delivers half of what it promises ... which in Christy Marks' case would still be almost more than we could handle. (DVD info @ eboobstore.com, via AVN)

Are we the only ones who think that it's ...

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:03:50 EDT

Are we the only ones who think that it's a really bad idea to make a vibrator that gets flaccid? Sometimes there's such a thing as a sex toy being too realistic. (shinyshiny.tv)

If you're still prodding yourself with a ...

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 11:27:07 EDT

If you're still ~~prodding yourself with a giant robo-licker~~ kicking yourself for missing San Francisco's Arse Elektronika conference last year, not to worry: there's a new call for papers for this year's installment. We hear the theme this year is "Do Androids Sleep With Electric Sheep?", though frankly we think the answer is fairly obvious. (monochrom.at, via slashdong.org; thumbnail via VSC)

We've scoffed at the idea that people might ...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 11:48:38 EDT

We've scoffed at the idea that people might someday prefer sex with robots to sex with warm-blooded humans, but leave it to Gizmodo to find a guy who's already living that dream: Meet Zoltan, a "technosexual" who hooked an artificial intelligence program up to a sex doll and teledildonics device to create his own robot girlfriend ... that even broke up with him once. The future is now, people. (Gizmodo)

We're tickled that someone tried to use the ...

Fleshbot — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:23:22 EDT

We're tickled that someone tried to use the new editable Google Maps feature to change the website of their local Republican party office to Fleshbot.com, but were not so tickled to find out that they couldn't because we "may be inappropriate" somehow. If they only knew what we know about those wild Clackamas County Republicans they'd see we weren't so inappropriate after all ... but we're not telling. (readwriteweb.com)

Hey ladies, prepare to have your breasts ...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 13:01:15 EST

Hey ladies, prepare to have your breasts constantly manipulated by the loving claws of this faceless animatronic robot from the future. It can't feel much worse than getting rubbed down by some of your clumsier ex-boyfriends. (Gizmodo)

We've long held that pornography is the mother ...

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 11:41:50 EST

We've long held that pornography is the mother of invention (wasn't that the whole idea behind last year's Arse Elektronika meetup?), but it seems that some folks in mainstream media are just figuring that out now. Yes, it's true: you can thank dirty minded folk like us for YouTube, Second Life, and the iTunes video store ... oh, and for all that porn you've been fapping over all these years too. (columbiatribune.com)

Always on the cutting edge of science and ...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 13:26:30 EST

Always on the cutting edge of science and nerdery, the fantasy roleplayers at io9 point us to this story of the latest attempt at a real-life Orgasmatron—a metal box that you attach to your spine (ouch!) and triggers your best, most powerful o-face on command. Only $12,000 (ouch again!), but if it works it's totally worth its weight in lube. (latimes.com, via io9.com)

Well, it looks like the HD format war is ...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:45:03 EST

Well, it looks like the HD format war is over, so we can stop hearing about how porn was going to decide it all. Now you can throw that HD DVD player you didn't buy (no one actually owns one of those things right?) in the back of your closet with your Betamax tapes. (reuters.com)

Keeping the kids away from the porn is hard ...

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 12:42:25 EST

Keeping the kids away from the porn is hard work, but somebody has to do it; the question is who? Vivid's Steven Hirsch wants to see Google and Yahoo take an aggressive stand and develop new technologies to verify the ages of people searching for online porn. Because we all know there has to be a foolproof way to keep horny adolescents from accessing RustyTrombone.com. Er, isn't there? (afp.google.com)

Scientists discover that most technological ...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 10:21:07 EST

Scientists discover that most technological advances develop because somebody, somewhere just wanted to get off. One doc says: "Nothing shocks me now, although I'm frequently surprised at how ingenious people are in order to obtain sexual satisfaction." To which we say ... um, duh. (vnunet.com)

OMG, you guys! You're totally going to be ...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:03:04 EST

OMG, you guys! You're totally going to be able to get porn on your cell phone soon, which you really can't do now unless, you know ... you already own a cell phone. This amazing technology story brought to you by the year 1992. (zdnet.com + sciam.com + Gawker)

If you've ever wondered what it takes to ...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 10:01:01 EST

If you've ever wondered what it takes to work your way into the pants of certain Fleshbot contributors, here's a hint—find your local Apple store ... fast. (Don't worry, Windows fans. Some of us are still PC compatible.) (Gizmodo)

Nudar: GPS For Boobies

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:30:02 EST

We've all been there before—driving down a lonely highway in the middle of night, not really sure where you are or if you have enough gas to make it to the next station, when suddenly a beacon rises above the horizon signaling the oasis you've been searching for: "Strip Club. Next Exit." But in this interconnected, wi-fi, super-surveyed world, why go through all that stress? Nudar wants to take the pain away by mapping the world ... the strip club world. They want to build a database of any place on Earth where you can find bare boobs—wet t-shirt bars, nude beaches, New Orleans—and then send that data to you anywhere in the world via your GPS device. It's like the tits come to you! Plus, this way when you run out of singles and end up face down in the parking lot, your loved ones will know where to come pick you up.

· NUDAR - GPS for Strip Clubs & Nudity (nudar.com)

Girls And Their Gadgets: Because Porn Stars Like Shiny Things Too

Fleshbot — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 14:25:54 EST

Tech geeks that we are at heart, we have to admit that it was a little frustrating being in Las Vegas last week and not being able to get into the Consumer Electronics Show with our AVN Expo passes to check out all those shiny new toys. (Yes, we know there were even more folks in the completely opposite position than we were; we believe this is what's called irony or something.) But that doesn't mean there wasn't plenty of technolust happening on the porn side of things: aside from all those buzzing devices we saw ourselves, the folks at AOL's Switched.com managed to get up close and personal with almost two dozen of the adult industry's shiniest lights to find out which gizmos turned them on the most. Predictably, sex toys like Silver Bullets and Magic Wands are the most frequently mentioned, but it's making us all tingly knowing that Jenna Haze loves her PSP as much as we do. Maybe we can challenge her to some ad hoc network play sometime?

. . .

· "Adult Film Stars Reveal Their Gadget Faves" (switched.com)

Thankfully, no one was talking about it at ...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 14:00:16 EST

Thankfully, no one was talking about it at any of the AVN Expo afterparties we went to, but a lot of big decisions were apparently being made last week by porn studios and mainstream studios regarding HD DVD and Blu Ray (which may finally be winning the high-definition format war.) When you watch all your porn on a 13-inch laptop monitor, those kinds of considerations rarely come into play. (Kotaku + digitaljournal.com)