Instructors Tory Lane, Phoenix Marie, and Veronica Avluv whip butts into shape at this top of the line fitness camp.
We love excess: it's in our blood, it's in our national heritage, it's why breakfast cereal advertisements always show full glasses of milk next to full glasses of juice. We've searched far and wide to find ways to express our love of the cup that runneth over, and we've realized that nothing celebrates abundance quite like a bun dance--watch this jelly jiggle and beg to be filled!
Are you concerned? Do you feel anxious about the sheer area of ass exhibited in this fine film? Don't worry, we'll break it down for you. One acre is exactly 43,560 square feet, but fortunately for us, this isn't a foot fetish film and there are no squares allowed.
We don't want to spoil the show for you, but we figured you might want a little heads-up. A little birdy told us that there's going to be penis entering anus at some point during the film--maybe once, maybe twice, maybe in every scene--so you should prepare yourself for it. Pray to whatever god feels appropriate.
When someone uses the phrase "racially motivated," it's usually for something bad. Like, no one ever feels racially motivated to hold the door open at the bank, and you never hear about a Chinese buffet being racially motivated to host a super cheap early bird special, it's always crime that gets the epithet. Fortunately, Jules Jordan, Mike John, and a Benetton ad's worth of pornstars are here to change that.
When you picture Asa Akira getting down with a bunch of babes, what names come to mind? London Keys and Katsuni? What a coincidence! Those ladies are totally having sex with Asa in this movie. We like to imagine that the three of them spend every Thursday night with margaritas and ceviche, talking their porn lady talk, snuggling up with a movie, and then having a huge pillow fight.
There are a lot of steps you can take to improve your chances of having a successful orgy, but when you get down to what really matters, it's all about how experienced the participants are. That's why these "Orgy Masters" can decide to form a pile of bodies without warning: they know what goes where and when, and nobody has to remind them to lube up or scoot over or form a daisy chain.
Every time Bobbi Starr comes out with another movie, we feel like we need to set aside a week to watch it because every scene is so gosh darn hardcore. Such is the case with "Kiss Me, Lick Me, Fuck Me," a two-disc tribute to the feeling of Bobbi's knuckles working their way inside a girl's ass.
We envision a world in which the world "massacre" is so outdated that the only time it gets brought up is when people are discussing "Mandingo Massacre 3," and then they'll just assume that "massacre" is a fat contraction for "the massive acre of ass" that Mandingo can cross just by unzipping his fly.
We're used to seeing Nica Noelle movies about younger men lusting after older women, but now she's flipped the script and FILFs are chasing twenty-something year-old babes! What should we call these gentlemen cougars? Bobcats? Would they like it if we called them Big Poppa?
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