Fleshbot: Florida

Breaking: Max Hardcore Sentenced To Forty Six Months In Jail

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:01:11 EDT

It's a tough time to be obscene — at least if your name is Max Hardcore. The notorious pornographer has been sentenced to 46 months in prison and fined more than $1.4 million. (avn.com, more at xbiz.com)

A Florida teenager was allegedly attacked ...

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 12:05:42 EDT

A Florida teenager was allegedly attacked and robbed by four topless women, who left him $100 poorer. We're not sure what he's complaining about—there are people who pay a hell of a lot more for that kind of treatment. (ananova.com; thumbnail star Karen via Ask Jolene)

College Rivals Do Battle In Playboy Magazine

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 12:35:19 EDT

We've spent most of this week trying to hunt down an online version of the newest issue of Playboy, but so far so not-so-good: the powers have perfected the art of taking down anyone trying to post scans online and have managed to keep a pretty good lockdown on the whole thing. (Though the industrious should be able to find a way. We're just saying!) But why would we take such a keen interest in this particular volume of airbrushed voluptuosity? Because October is the traditional "Girls Of The (Insert College Athletic Conference Here)" issue, and this year the conference of choice is none other than the old stomping ground of some of your favorite Fleshbot editors, the Big Ten!

The issue is also stirring up a bit of controversy thanks to cover girl Kelly Carrington, who is a student at the University of Florida. Clever scholars will note that UF is not in the Big Ten, a problem that Ms. Carrington (not her real name!) attributes to superior SEC genes.

"There weren’t any girls from the Big Ten who were hot enough to be on the cover," she says.

This will not stand! Her football and basketball teams may have earned the right to talk a little smack on the playing field, but when it comes to the physical prowess of its co-eds, we'll put the Big Ten up against any conference in the land.

There was obviously some sort of lack of oversight on the part of Playboy's editors—or maybe there's a Gator-Hefner-NCAA conspiracy going on here? But we're certain that there are Big Ten women out there just as worthy of the centerfold. And we can prove it! Just as soon as we find some actual pictures from the magazine. (It's not like we're going to go outside and you know, buy it or anything. Feel free to leave us tips in the comments below.)

· UF student on cover of Playboy (gainesville.com)
· Playboy’s Girls of the Big 10: MSU’s Elle Stamos (metromix.com)
· Playboy No. 10 Octoboer 2008 (alltollz.com)
· Girls of the Big 10 (non-nude gallery @ playboyu.com)

Obscenity A La Mode?

Jonnobot — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 08:40:09 EDT

Max Hardcore might have been getting all the attention lately, but another obscenity trial in Florida is currently underway where the defense is using Google search stats to prove that "community standards" are a lot broader than some people might think: apparently, searching for the term "orgy" is just as all-American as searching for "apple pie". (No word on people who search for "apple pie orgy", though—maybe even community standards have their limits.) (freespeechcoalition.com + nytimes.com)

If you don't have any plans for the weekend ...

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 11:25:50 EDT

If you don't have any plans for the weekend yet, you might want to consider partying with Jenna Jameson: after all, what could be more fun than heading down to Florida, putting on some lingerie, drinking champagne, and hanging out with the world's most famous porn star? (Okay, we can think of a few things, but we'll take what we can get.) (nationalledger.com)

Breaking: Max Hardcore Too Hardcore For Florida

Gram Ponante — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 20:16:34 EDT

Following 14 hours of deliberation today, a Tampa jury found extreme pornographer Max Hardcore guilty on ten counts of distributing obscene material, the first time Hardcore has been found guilty in a career full of obscenity legislation. Hardcore said that he would appeal, and is free on bail until a September 5 sentencing. "I'm full of good spirits and they didn't get my house," Hardcore told AVN.

Hardcore's attorneys told jurors that no one could have purchased or seen the eight hours of fisting, urination, and mock-"underage" footage by mistake, and (according to AVN), several jurors approached the Hardcore team afterward and expressed sympathy, saying the poor wording of the legislation painted them in a corner.

Despite past successful defenses for more extreme material than the likes of "Fists of Fury 4" and "Extreme Max 19," as well as the positive testimony of retired porn star Summer Luv—who told the jury that Hardcore, unlike other porn directors, "cared" and paid on time—the jury was unable to sidestep existing law, which counts as obscene anything that "appeals to prurient interest."

As a precedent, this case bodes ill for Evil Angel and director John Stagliano, who face similar charges for tamer movies. That case is not expected to go to trial until next year.

· "Closing Arguments In Max Trial Reveal Prosecution's True Agenda" and "Max Hardcore Found Guilty in Obscenity Trial" (avn.com)
· Max Hardcore (maxhardcore.com)

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Previously: Porn Valley (Adjacent) Dispatch: Max Hardcore Busted, Max Hardcore Trial Update, Porn Valley Dispatch: Max Hardcore's Process

Hiring a nude maid to clean your house while ...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 28 May 2008 15:01:27 EDT

Hiring a nude maid to clean your house while the wife is on vacation sounds like the perfect plan, until she makes off with $40,000 worth of your wife's jewels. That must have been a fun explanation. (myfoxtampabay.com; thumb of the very trustworthy Shay Laren)

Tommy Gunn Takes The Old Bull By The Horns

Gram Ponante — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:10:31 EDT

Straight male porn performers belong to an exclusive club, and the ones who actually get their names printed on boxcovers and magazines belong to a still more exclusive club, because it takes a lot to make an impression on a predominantly male consumer base that is predominantly looking at the side of the screen occupied by a female and her wares. Tommy Gunn is such a performer. We talk with the 2007 AVN Male Performer of the Year after the gap.

. . .

Born in New Jersey, Tommy Gunn was a Chippendales dancer in Florida when his then-girlfriend introduced him to Wicked director Brad ("Flashpoint", "Coming Home") Armstrong.

"We were at the Saddle Ranch on Sunset Blvd. and I asked him what was the best way to break into the porn industry," Gunn said. "He just jerked his thumb at my girlfriend and said, 'She's your ticket in.'"

While that relationship didn't work out and Gunn was soon back on a plane to Florida, he was already making himself indispensable to ladies.

"I was working as a clothing designer and one day Janine and Julia Ann bought bikinis that I'd sewed," he said.

You sew?

"I have three sewing machines," he said. "One does leather. When I was dancing the other guys would come to me when they needed to replace the velcro in their pants."

Gunn's porn career began in 2003; he started when he was 36.

"I think if I got into this when I was 21 I'd be washed up," he said. "But I like the story about the Old Bull and the Young Bull: The Young Bull says, "Let's run down the hill and fuck that cow." And the Old Bull says, 'No, let's walk down there and fuck them all.'" I'm the Old Bull."

Gunn currently lives with Ashlynn Brooke in a house that he's fixing up to look like the Hard Rock in Las Vegas.

"I'm extending the beach to my pool," he said, strolling around the back yard where he has built a fountain and a tiki bar.

So what's the secret to a long career as a male porn star?

"Smell good always," he said. "and when I'm with another guy's girlfriend, I want to deliver her back to him unharmed."

· Assassin Pictures (assassinpictures.com)

Carefree Highway: Meaghan Jones Is A "Real Roadside Ho"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:00:52 EDT

I know that the days when porn could be made anonymously with drifters and hobos are past, and that every "reality" series is actually a low-budget but meticulously documented exercise in making scripted things seem like they just happened. But still I dream, and the idea of picking up agreeable trollops on Florida's highways and byways appeals to me (because I think that's how the Mouseketeers got started), and because I have long been a proponent of art made in vans.

Well, I said "art," but that was just a hook; this is really a poorly made movie, but it's still fun to watch, and which is better, a technically adept porn movie that is unwatchable and unappealing or something that looks like a trainwreck with boobs flopping out? I, for one, opt for Option 2.

And there is something appealing about "Real Roadside Ho's" in the fact that you can imagine these dudes driving that van around Ft. Lauderdale on days when they're not shooting porn, too.

Meaghan Jones is picked up on a quiet residential street after her shift selling "makeup products." She is naked mere moments later.

The rest of the women in this title have the mark of Florida authenticity about them and, along with "Couples Seduce Teens" or other Pink Visual California-filmed fare, this New Porn Order production provides a continental bookend documenting the van-based exertions of local talent.

· New Porn Order (newpornorder.com)

We totally saw this one coming: that Porn ...

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:16:25 EDT

We totally saw this one coming: that Porn Camp Seminar we told you about a few weeks ago is already overbooked. Shockingly, there are more than 12-20 people in (or willing to travel to) the Tampa area who want to know how to make a porn video. Or at least who want to meet Courtney Cummz. (tampabays10.com)

Today's baseball spring training update: ...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:51:50 EST

Today's baseball spring training update: A scout for the Boston Red Sox was arrested in Florida for "committing a lewd act in a hotel room that overlooked the pool." Your move, Derek Jeter! (abc2news.com)

Notes On Porn Camp: Or, Kum Ba Ya ... On My Face!

Gram Ponante — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 13:56:18 EST

Ever wanted to make and sell a homemade porn movie but lost hope after the penis pictures you posted on Craigslist yielded nothing? Visit Tampa from March 28-30 for a comprehensive seminar that will cover everything from lighting to where to store your talent IDs for when the feds break down your apartment door.

Florida's Nightmoves Magazine, a respected stripper publication, and performer Courtney Cummz are teaming up with Tampa lawyer Brandon Kolb for the first-ever seminar, which promises to address the casting couch as well as "the legalities from experienced adult entertainment Attorneys."

Participants will actually shoot a porn scene with Cummz' guidance by the end of the seminar. Talent will be provided by a local casting agency, TandA Management.

We were concerned that no one from the number listed on the website answered our calls during business hours and that there was no mention of what the seminar would cost, but we reassured ourselves that porn really is about promise rather than delivery.

In any case, it's got to be better than Kate Capshaw's "SpaceCamp."

· Porn Camp Seminars (porncampseminars.com)
· Courtney Cummz (courtneycummz.com)

* * * * *

Previously: "Breaking Into Porn": You Think It's Easy Banging Hot Chicks For A Living?

Is Florida The New Porn Valley?

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:32:24 EST

The only place on Earth that has a similar climate, in-ground swimming pool distribution, and permissive community standards on girls in bikinis as Southern California, are the coastal areas of Florida. So you'd think that if there was any place that could compete with the San Fernando Valley as the porn capital of the world, it would be the Sunshine State—and you might be correct. Except for the geographical oddity of being on both the bottom edge of the Bible Belt's buckle and on the leading edge of Key West's and South Beach's middle fingers, which puts the state in the middle of a somewhat conflicted relationship with adult entertainment.

From a legal point of view, said Walters, Florida is an interesting set of regional microcosms, with the majority of production going on in the southern part of the state, and the majority of cases against pornographers going on in the north.

So says the Jacksonville Times-Union, which like many local newspapers these days, is examining the local porn climate—although Jacksonville being closer to that belt we mentioned—they take a pretty moralizing stance. Their three part series contains one re-hashed story on the dangers of podn addiction and one "where are they now?" followup on former Jacksonville Hooters girl Crissy Moran, who quit the business a year ago after finding religion. (Although judging by her still constant presence on the babelog circuit, it's like she never left.) All the stories seem to come to one conclusion—porn is here to stay, whether Floridians like it or not. (And they seems to like it quite a bit.)

So how can the same state play host to growing porn empires like the Bang Bros., yet still crack down on hardcore outfits like Ray Guhn Productions? And don't even get us started on Girls Gone Wild, which has probably done more to benefit state tourism than anything since "Where The Boys Are." (The first one!) We don't have the answers yet, but if our request to transfer to our Panama City bureau comes through, we'll let you know what we find.

· "Porn nearby", "Their addictions hurt themselves, loved ones" + "She quit porn industry and turned to Christ" (jacksonville.com)

Previously: Crissy Moran Finds Jesus

"Slutty Campus Teens 3": A Deep Reading (Or, Is She Really Getting a PhD?)

Gram Ponante — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 18:51:25 EST

We gravitated toward Pink Visual's "Slutty Campus Teens 3" because we miss those halcyon days of hefty student discounts from the Apple Store and ponchos of dubious provenance on sale at the campus center. But while the cast and crew of the movie were careful to not mention what campus they visited, telltale clues—palm trees, actual weather, real tans and mostly real breasts—suggested one somewhere in Florida.

A quick Google search revealed that the campus where the stalking was done was Broward Community College in the Hanging Chad region of the Sunshine State. One further sign that the movie was not filmed in Porn Valley was that, when asked if she could "suck (her) own titties," a woman named Jessi replied, "Do they reach?" Pornfolk learn that capacity within minutes of getting off the bus in these parts.

A Russian woman named Anastasia, identified by the high school term "exchange student", was my favorite in this condom-only production. Each woman seemed to have been approached as she flipped through a notebook, adding to the verisimilitude, in a deserted area of BCC's campus.

"Most of them are strippers," admitted a Pink Visual employee.

"And not actual college students?" I cried.

"...and not actual college students," she admitted.

It is important to point out that "Slutty Campus Teens" does not necessarily imply that these women are students - just that they were approached on a campus. We don't have their records to verify if they are actually teens, nor can we call someone "slutty" if she has sex for money, but I am kind of hoping that Julie is actually slutty, just in case I'm going poncho shopping down Broward way.

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Slutty Campus Teens 3" (gamelink.com)

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Previously: Photoplay Archive

Don't you hate spending the better part of ...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:46:36 EST

Don't you hate spending the better part of your life fighting against the glass ceiling to build a respectable judicial career only to have some jackass plaintiff come before you who you once gave a drunken blowjob to in college? Especially one who willing admits to emitting high-pitched girlish screams that set off car alarms when receiving fellatio? No one really comes out of this story alive. (abovethelaw.com, via Jezebel)

"Busty Hookers" Takes Its Place In The Pantheon

Gram Ponante — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 20:42:20 EDT

Of the many awards bestowed in last week's Nightmoves convention in Tampa (by all accounts a fun time, though we have never been offered airline tickets, free hotel and transportation, and happy ending massages from stern but grateful gator-wrasslin' women), none so captures the zeitgeist of the porn industry past and present than "Busty Hookers" winning an Editor's Choice award for Best Gonzo Release. Not since "Busty Hookers Who Are Also My Bartender" have we felt the stars align so fluidly.

· Night Moves (nmea.com)
· Buy "Busty Hookers" (gamelink.com)

Popshots of the Week: Ink Spots Edition

Gram Ponante — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 19:55:44 EDT

Tattoos abound this week in the porn world, probably because there is a nip in the air and we often confuse pain with heat. There is no better time to feature several of our inked favorites, including Joanna Angel, who recently finished signing duties to get a flower with a bomb in it burned into her side at New Jersey's Starlight Tattoo Convention. I asked Angel what the difference was between porn conventions and tattoo conventions.

"I was the only porn girl at this one," she said. "I was signing copies of 'Cum on My Tattoo'. There was a huge line. I think that at porn conventions guys just want a pretty girl to smile at them, and any one will do. These people were there to see me."

Stormy Daniels, Jesse Jane, and Carmen Luvana proved that contract girls for different companies can exist in the same place at the same time without Lionel Stander declaring that "it was murder". Here they are at Tampa's Nightmoves show last week.

(Jesse has a tattoo of the Playboy Bunny under her navel.)

The ubiquitous Michelle Aston sprawls on a bench outside Justice Howard's Toys Kill show in Hollywood last week. Aston was featured in the photo exhibition and just about everywhere else. "I'm tired oof teaching 20-year-olds how to fuck," she mused. I reminded her that I was 22.

Finally, Marco Banderas and loveely Newcastle-born wife Lisa DeMarco (get it?) pose in Tampa. We are not sure if either member of the couple has tattoos, but Banderas could probably focus the white hot rays of the sun with his teeth to cook up a workable one of those coccygeal butterflies.

* * * * *

Previously: Popshots Archive

Spencer Tunick will photograph 800 naked ...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 10:22:44 EDT

Spencer Tunick will photograph 800 naked people in South Beach, Florida, next month, which is about two or three hundred shy of the number of naked people you would find in South Beach on a typical Friday night. (miamiherald.com)

The dreaded six-foot rule may be on its way ...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 16:16:23 EDT

The dreaded six-foot rule may be on its way to Sarasota, Florida, strip clubs. Why should only guys who are 12 feet tall get to have all the fun? (mysuncoast.com)

If you haven't been keeping in touch with ...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 13:32:30 EDT

If you haven't been keeping in touch with your grandparents since they moved to Florida (shame on you!) and you're wondering what they're up to, don't worry—they've just been planning for their erotic art show. See what happens when you leave those kids unsupervised? (sptimes.com)

FetishCon 2007: Sparks Fly

Fleshbot — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 12:26:46 EDT

Says intrepid Fleshbot roving photographer Autumn Sonnichsen of this last batch of hot performance shots she took at FetishCon 2007 in Tampa last weekend: "Did you know that you can make sparks fly out from between a girl's legs? I did not know. I learned a lot last weekend." We've heard rumours that such things were possible, but it wasn't until we saw what was going on onstage that we believed it could really happen. Either we have to brush up on our powertool technique, or we have to start attending more events like this in the future to learn how it's done. Guess sticks and stones aren't the only things you can rub together to make things ignite.

· Photos by Autumn Sonnischen (autumnsonnichsen.com)

See also:
· Darenzia
· Miss Kendra James
· Miss Maya
· Ruby Luster

Previously: FetishCon 2007: Florida Heat, Anastasia Pierce Does Rubberdoll (And Vice Versa)

Anastasia Pierce Does Rubberdoll (And Vice Versa)

Fleshbot — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 14:20:18 EDT

Among the many pervy delights we missed at FetishCon 2007 this past weekend was a live performance featuring Fleshbot crush objects Anastasia Pierce and Rubberdoll, who between them generated so much heat that it's a wonder their ensembles didn't spontaneously combust and/or melt right there on stage. Fortunately, photographer extraordinaire Autumn Sonnichsen was there to capture all the steamy fetish nurse-on-fetish nurse action; we'd say that she at least saved you the discomfort of sitting there in the audience and getting all hot and sticky yourself, but something tells us you're going to be feeling pretty moist once you see the pics anyway. And who doesn't like to get a little moist once in a while?

· Photos by Autumn Sonnischen (autumnsonnichsen.com)

See also:
· Anastasia Pierce (anastasiapierce.com)
· Rubberdoll (rubberdoll.net)
· FetishCon (official site @ fetishcon.com)

Previously: FetishCon 2007: Florida Heat

Fetish Con 2007: Florida Heat

Fleshbot — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 11:47:05 EDT

While summertime is an excuse for most of us to wear as little clothing as possible, there's never any rest from the rigors of lacing up a corset or squeezing oneself into a form fitting latex ensemble for the hard working models of the fetish scene, many of whom were in attendance at FetishCon 2007 in Tampa this weekend. Fortunately, star photographer Autumn Sonnichsen braved the sticky August temperatures to bring you these exclusive shots of models at the event, including Fleshbot faves Darenzia, Emily Marilyn, and Anastasia Pierce ... because after all, neither snow nor rain nor two hundred percent Florida humidity can stay any of these gals from the hot completion of their fetishwear rounds. (Let's just hope the air conditioning didn't flake out of them in their hotel rooms this weekend like it did in our apartments. This whole suffering-for-fashion thing should only go so far.)

· FetishCon (official site @ fetishcon.com)
· Photos by Autumn Sonnischen (autumnsonnichsen.com)

See also FetishCon 2007 Models:
· Darenzia
· Anastasia Pierce
· Miss Maya
· Kerri Taylor
· Lady Lethe
· Eden Wells
· Emily Marilyn
· Ruby Luster

Could someone please tell us who ended up ...

Fleshbot — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 12:54:37 EDT

Could someone please tell us who ended up winning the SilverCash Bikini Contest at the Internext webmaster confab in Florida last weekend? Because we're having a hard time choosing from all the contestants. When it comes to barely-there thongs, everyone's a winner! (laxtime.com)

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served With Boobs

Fleshbot — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 12:45:21 EDT

In Sarasota, Florida this week, adult business zoning laws and neighborhood stodginess prevented a local business owner from opening a hair salon in which the hairdressers would be dressed down to bikinis. Refusing to go gentle into that good night, the would-be businessman is now setting up window displays of a suggestive nature. Sure, maybe it's a little aggressive since there's an elementary school only a few hundred feet away—but as we well know from those reports of the adult industry bringing in $983 squillion a year, there's money in this business, and some people just aren't going to sit down and take their injustices quietly. Or without visual demonstrations of hot mannequin-on-mannequin love. David Douthitt, who refers to the potential hair salon as a clip joint instead of a strip joint, may be helping to drive home the point that adult businesses are bad for the neighborhood ... but at least the pictures of his protest methods are amusing. Especially if you're into hot mannequin-on-mannequin love.

· "Man's Pornographic Protest Uses Naked Mannequins" (slideshow @ wftv.com)

Potential jurors in a Florida masturbation ...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 11:40:06 EDT

Potential jurors in a Florida masturbation trial (it's a long story) were asked if they had ever touched themselves before and all had to confess to the crime. Let he among you with a free hand cast the first stone. (miamiherald.com, via Jezebel)

Another week, another opportunity to vote ...

Fleshbot — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 17:58:16 EDT

Another week, another opportunity to vote for the winners of yet another adult industry awards show. Try not to think too hard about what the Best Anal Release might involve. (xfanz.com; see ballot @ nmaea.com)

No nude dancing in Daytona Beach?! Well, ...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 10:00:54 EDT

No nude dancing in Daytona Beach?! Well, we guess you can always just walk down to the beach and find someone naked there. (cbs4.com)

Morning Wood: Mating Season

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:33:44 EDT

· A bunch of horny manatees are causing traffic jams in Florida. Not web traffic, sadly, just cars. (firstcoastnews.com)

· We've haven't seen Daisy Fuentes in awhile, maybe because she's too busy getting drunk in the ocean. She's definitely no sea cow. (drunkenstepfather.com)

· Let's say you open a salon where scantily-clad ladies cut hair in sexy outfits. Well, this is the worst that can happen. (alliednews.com)

· Hooters is now 25 years old, so come on down and bring the kids!. When they say one big happy family, they mean it. (ajc.com)

· Some Malaysians don't mind the sports car racing, but aren't so keen on the ever-present racing babes. Sorry, you can't have one without the other. (thestar.com.my)

· Nudist recreation is now more popular than golf or tennis. Probably because you don't have to wear those ugly shirts. (azcentral.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Morning Wood: Not Again

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 11:30:51 EDT

· Watch out, y'all ... another "celebrity" sex tape is supposedly hitting the interweb any day now. You'll never ~~care~~ guess who it is! (OK, it's Lauren and Jason from MTV's "The Hills". Hey, there was a time when you didn't know who Kim Kardashian was either.) (entertainmentwise.com)

· Uma Thurman wears her new bikini ... sorta. The suit isn't really serving any purpose at this point. (egotastic.com + hollywoodtuna.com + drunkenstepfather.com)

· "Girls Gone Wild"'s Joe Francis has been ordered to get a little less wild ... in jail. Perhaps his fellow inmates will take off their jumpsuits for him. (sun-sentinel.com)

· So now a nude-but-not-really photo of the sister of an American Idol contestant that everyone hates anyway qualifies as a scandal? Doesn't anyone have drug-fueled hooker orgies anymore? (worldofwonder.net)

· The editor of Playboy Indonesia is suddenly no longer guilty of indecency. We guess they finally got around to reading the articles. (reuters.com)

· Strippers in Florida will now be allowed to get really nasty on stage. We might have to go and exercise some "artistic freedom" of our own. (orlandosentinel.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Wet Spots: Rest In Peeps

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 20:00:48 EDT

· Finally, a respectful tribute to Anna Nicole Smith. We always sort of knew that sculpture were the only thing marshmallow Peeps are good for. (intuitionkitchenproductions.com, via Boing Boing)

· Sunsilk model Aishika Chand is half Indian, halh Nepalese ... and looks totally great with no clothes on. (bollyrock.com)

· If you didn't make it to Las Vegas for the AVN Awards Show (or fell asleep during it), it's finally being broadcast on Playboy TV tonight. Spoiler Alert!: "Corruption" wins everything. (avn.com)

· This columnist says that trying to block online porn is like "playing a game of 'Whac-a-Mole'", which ironically enough, is also what happens after you find it. (mcall.com)

· In order to prove their value to the economy, Florida nudists will start paying for everything using only $2 bills. Of course, that doesn't change the fact that they still have nowhere to carry them. (wftv.com)

· McDonald's makes the mistake of letting anyone with an internet connection ask them a question about their business. Still no answer as to what's in the "Special Sauce." (theregister.co.uk)

· Meanwhile, another male teacher in Florida is busted for showing the full monty in ... "The Full Monty." It's not like he had a choice—it is right there in the title. (nbc-2.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Dana DeArmond's Decorative Taint

Fleshbot — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 16:30:09 EDT

If you're as smitten with the delightful Dana DeArmond as we are, you'll find a whole lot more to love about her in this new interview at Bizarre Magazine where everyone's favorite porn unicorn talks about everything from her special talents ("I'm not one of those on-command squirters. I'm a random squirter") to earning pity dollars during her strip club days ("If you fall, throw up, someone steals your shit, then people feel bad and are like, 'Here's $50, sweetie. Don't cry. Stop vomiting on me'") to her favorite food ("Bacon is the chocolate of meats") and why she's known as the "porn unicorn" to begin with (long story)—as well as how she's coping with that recent house fire you may have heard something about. What you won't read about in the interview, however, is how she's accepted our offer to marry her and take her away to a secret tropical paradise where she will bear all of our children and live with us in blissful domesticity for the rest of our lives. (Oops, don't spread that around yet, OK? We haven't told her mom yet.)

· Dana DeArmond Interview (bizarremag.com)
· Dana DeArmond on MySpace (myspace.com, as if you didn't know already)

Previously: Naomi, Dana, and Mika: Almost Famous, Catching Up With Dana DeArmond, Dana DeArmond And the Curse Of The Fleshbot Video Interview, Dana DeArmond Needs A Hug (And A Place To Live), Porn Vegas Dispatch: Dana DeArmond Loves Us, Preview: "Dana DeArmond Does The Internet"

Morning Wood: Joanna Angel Gets Crowned

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 10:13:47 EST

· Russell Crowe's rugby team has done away with cheerleaders because he says they make the fans feel "uncomfortable." Um ... isn't that the point? (news.com.au)

· The ever-regal Joanna Angel took home the crown for Crossover Move of the Year at the 5th Annual XBIZ Awards last night in Hollywood—but in case you were up all night wondering who won the coveted Alternative Billing Service of the Year award, you can find a list of all the winners right here. (xbiz.com)

· The Breast Cancer Society of Canada turns down a $6,000 donation because it came from a group of strippers. Maybe they were upset because it was in Canadian dollars? (cbc.ca + canada.com)

· Here are ten ways to guarantee yourself a bad sex life. Not having any sex at all would probably No. 1 on most people's list. (sexuality.about.com)

· A French hosiery maker unveils a new line of pantyhose for men, ensuring that jokes about sissy Frenchmen will live forever. (uk.news.yahoo.com)

· Atlantic Beach, Florida, presents "The Hoohaa Monologues." Somehow that's even more offensive than the original title. (local6.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Meet Diana Chaifair: Miss FHM 2006

Fleshbot — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 18:45:00 EST

No one was as surprised as we were when 21-year-old Florida pharmaceutical rep Diana Chaifair was named Miss FHM 2006 this week (mostly because we'd never heard of her before and it's supposed to be our job to be on top of these things) after months of voting—unless it was the lucky winner herself: "I was shocked when I found out I won ... The voting closed at midnight and I got the call half an hour later. Twelve hours after that, I was headed straight to an FHM photo shoot." Hopefully she'll be able to keep up with the whirlwind pace during her reign over the next twelve months, because we hear that all that posing in skimpy underthings can really wear a gal out after a while. In the meantime, we wish her all the best—let's give her a hand, shall we? (No, the other one.)

· Diana Chiafair: Miss FHM 2006 (fhmus.com; see also Diana's contestant page and video here)
· "Diana Chiafair - Miss FHM candidate and drug rep" (pharmagossip.blogspot.com)
· Diana Chiafair Official Site (coming soon @ dianachiafair.com)

Previously: FHM's Lingerie World Cup, Brooke Hogan in FHM, Elita Loresca in FHM, Miss Maxim 2006

Gia Paloma Does Suburbia

Fleshbot — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 16:25:58 EDT

Since we'd be accused of listing something from some cheesy porn script if we told you about a pornstar who just happened to wander into a suburban swimming pool with no clothes on and a talented photographer who just happened to be there with a camera, we'll let Sao Paulo-based photo editor Autumn Sonnichsen explain how she wound up with these incredibly hot yet intimate shots of the always sexy Gia Paloma: "I met Gia when we were both in town for the Tampa Show, and the pictures are the result of 36 hours, three bottles of wine, four coffees, two pizzas and one lonely tequila worm. She gave me lots of bruises, got sand all over my camera, and almost got the both of us arrested for public indecency, until she promptly proceeded to charm the pants off of the officers and she left with their phone numbers. It's hard not to love that girl." If only our own vacation photos turned out this interesting.

· Gia Paloma Does Suburbia: Part One and Part Two (accdidentalpornographer.blogspot.com)
· See also: Gia Paloma on MySpace (myspace.com)

The Tampa Show

Gram Ponante — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 11:07:21 EDT

If you're like us, when you think of Clearwater, Florida, the first things that come to mind are strippers and Xenu. Scientology aside, though, the annual adult awards show sponsored in part by peeler mag NightMoves is coming up this week in the Tampa environs with about 50 pornstars flying in from around the country, including current It Girls Sunny Lane and Hillary Scott, Digital Playground's Jesse Jane and Teagan Presley from their melon-scented bunkers and Adam & Eve's Carmen Luvana (pictured) from Mt. Badass. Adam & Eve will also be sending its new contract girls Ava Rose and Sophia Lynn. KSEXRadio's Tony Batman will also be there, just to prove it's not all about the ladies.

Four days of strip clubhopping will ensue, culminating with the 14th annual NightMoves Awards Sunday and then anticlimaxing with a party Monday night. Collectively this has come to be known as The Tampa Show, a raunchy, fun, and comparatively low ego'd adult affair.

· The Tampa Show (tampashow.com)
· NightMoves (nightmovesusa.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive