As the lithe Audrey Elson might tell you, sometimes the best outfit is no outfit at all. Lounging on the set of the Anabolic production of director Ivan's "Creampie Explosions 3"—yes, they said it couldn't be made—the 5'10" Elson makes a good case for never wearing anything again.

Join us after the gap for more Popshots, in which we show porn stars not as the world sees them but how they really are.

Bar Refaeli In A Bikini: What More Can You Ask For?

Popshots of the Week: And A Shemale Midget Shall Lead Them

A notion of standards prevents us from showing you a photo of the titular shemale midget at the top of this story, but we all remember when Atticus Finch invoked a shemale midget in his defense of Tom Robinson, so we figured we could at least mention a shemale midget in the title and still win points with our literate readership without actually having to show you his/her truncated Boo Radley.

Instead, here's Scarlett Fay in a picture she took herself. More Popshots (including that of the shemale midget) after the jump.

Memorial Day weekend makes us think of a summer full of dogs, and how much better they are than cats. Leaders of the Porno-American community feel the same way, and we share some of their pictures here, starting with Belladonna and Oz.

This year's XRCO (X-Rated Critics Organization) Awards were a departure from the genuinely directionless world of porn awards shows in that they started pretty close to when they should have and, halfway through, people were still sitting down to watch.

Of course, being an adult awards show, there was much more going on everywhere but the stage. Still, we made sure to watch now and then, seeing as how we're voters. See our gallery (now fully captioned!) after the gap.

One of my favorite movies of the last couple of years was Ernest Greene's "O: The Power of Submission", in which Carmen Luvana enters a master/slave agreement with brothers Tommy Gunn and Evan Stone. Unlike many porn movies, "O" really tried to tackle the D/S lifestyle and the feelings of doubt, jealousy, and heartbreak that bedevil any relationship. This month Greene finished shooting the sequel with a new "O," Bree Olson. And it was not lost on this reporter that Olson starts with O.

Submit to some snaps after the gap, slaves.

Adam & Eve's biggest movie of 2008 is "Rollerdollz," a roller derby movie gone right. A co-production with Zero Tolerance and directed by James Avalon, "Rollerdollz" wrapped filming early this morning at a 60-year-old rink at the east end of Porn Valley as Ava Rose, Bree Olson, Eva Angelina, and Sunny Lane skated across the parquet to crash into each other in a sweaty, girly mass.

See more snaps after the gap.

Spring is in the air in Porn Valley ... and so are plenty of legs! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Bet you've never heard that one before. (Oh, you have? A million times? I see.)

Regardless, the finest of what this region has to offer frolicked anew this week, knowing that six long hours of winter would soon be over. Here's the delightful Audrey Hollander doffing her folksy gingham dress for our delectation. See more snaps after the gap.

Springtime has come to Porn Valley and its thematic environs ... and the stars are out! Join us for a more eclectic than usual collection of snaps of your favorite people in their natural environments. You know, just hanging around.

We begin with a return to last weekend's San Francisco Fetish Ball, where we couldn't tell what hurt more — those restraints or that electrical tape. See more snaps after the gap.

Cousin Stevie's Pussy Parties are not always eight-girl pile-ons. Sometimes they are more intimate affairs where the ladies can just be together. Be together in my presence. Amber Peach, Heather Silk, and Flower Tucci got together at the latter's house to film for one another's websites and be filmed, because a content trade is the most special thing one woman can give another.

See more snaps after the gap.

We will let the press releases speak for themselves, because we have come to the conclusion that no one pays attention at adult awards shows — including the nevertheless enjoyable XBiz Awards last night, at which we at least know "Upload" won Best Feature and "Porn Week"'s Harmony Films won Best Emerging Studio (nice trick for being five years old) before Flower Tucci started disrobing and our attention was called elsewhere. See more snaps after the gap.

Despite the fact that she was apparently a featured star at something called the "7th Annual Breakthrough of the Year Awards" this past weekend, it took our addled brains a moment or two to remember who Megan Fox was and why we should be so interested in the fact that her nipple made a public appearance at said event too. Then we remembered: she's that chick from "Transformers" with the sexy tattoos who also made the lad mag rounds earlier this year! (She also had a starring role on ABC's "Hope & Faith" for a while, but did anyone actually watch that?) Thanks to these pics, though, we'll have no trouble whatsoever remembering who Megan is in the future. Some things are just too good to forget.

· "Megan Fox Has Nipples" (idontlikeyouinthatway.com)
See also: Megan Fox @ Wikipedia and Ask Men

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

Celebrity NippleWatch™: Lily Allen Makes Us Smile

How adorable are you, Lily Allen? Sure, your boozy compatriot Amy Winehouse might have gotten more love from the Grammy nominating committee this year, but there's no doubt in our minds who we'd rather see serve us up a good old fashioned blink-and-you-miss-it nip slip shot. (Even if it's not that third nipple we've heard so much about.) If this is the sort of outfit that got you voted "Worst Dressed" at the NME Awards this year .. .well, don't go changing your wardrobe anytime soon, OK? There was a reason why you were nominated "Sexiest Woman" too.

· "Lily Allen Nipple Slip Pictures" (egotastic.com)

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

The oil never runs out in Porn Valley: here, Joanna Angel remembers the past and ponders the future. While eight candles has nothing to do with "My Seven Bizzos", we are reminded this week that all spirituality is an inherently personal celebration. Or something.

See more snaps of the pornstars of today as they really are after the jump.