Sure, one could look at this series of hapless male faces caught between a pair of pretty girl thighs, decide it's nothing more than Yet Another Overly Specific Japanese Fetish™, and move on to the next eel wrangling website. But we prefer to think that there's a naughty schoolgirl named Mimi out there who is stalking the streets of Osaka luring unsuspecting Japanese salarymen into her tender trap, where she straddles and squeezes their smug mugs between her bare thighs until they cry while she takes keepsake Polariods for her own perverse pleasure before she runs away giggling, pigtails flying, into the night. (Which may not be too far from the truth either.) Hey, we can dream, can't we?

· BCCKS: Mimi (bccks.jp, via Pussycalor)

Those crazy porn-lovin' kids at Seattle's Stranger are at it again! No, it has nothing to do with their embarrassing get-off-my-leg-in-public habit (well, mostly): turns out they're having another amateur porn festival. Every year HUMP! has been a showcase of superlative indie porn that's shown only during the festival and destroyed afterward—prizes are awarded and everyone comes away with plenty of happy memories and wank material that lives on in their minds (and squishy bits) for years to come. This year they've moved the festivities to the end of October and are promising to scare the pants off all comers with HUMP-O-Ween. The deadline (heh) is October first and all details are on their website. We just hope that the clown porn thing isn't too much of a trend this year. Eek!

· HUMP! 4: HUMP-O-Ween (thestranger.com)

Previously: Dan Savage's Porn Problem, Their Humps: HUMP! Amateur Porn Contest 2007

We've had the hots for Ariel X for quite some time now, so when we heard she was passing through Fleshbot West and leaving her customary trail of broken hearts and handprints on asses in her wake we begged for a chance to ask her a few questions. Turns out, you have to beg really nice-like when you're talking to Ariel, and our knees are pretty bruised as a result. But finding out that her fantasy is being abducted and fucked by 5-10 girls was well worth the obedience lesson ... especially since that is so totally our fantasy too! Weird!

Read our exclusive interview and check out our deliriously hardcore gallery featuring a taste of Ariel's adventures after the jump.

While the sales copy promises us that "Getting her top off has never been easier!" we think that stopping a pretty girl on the street and asking to see whether her nipples are "Needle Nips" or "Cigarette Butts" is probably only a good idea if you (a) like to get kicked in the nuts a lot, or (b) enjoy that special feeling of being arrested for harassment. Still it's hard not to giggle at The Nipple Gauge, a titty-tip sizer that can be yours for a mere $6.95 and has not ever been Seen On TV&trade. The site's got some amusing amateur GGW-style pics and videos of boob-measuring at—you guessed it—Mardi Gras, once again proving that drunken coeds and boob flashing are like fine wine and good company: two great tastes that go great together, and ones that are always rewarding on their own merits.

· The Nipple Gauge (nipplegauge.com)

When we first saw the title of MTV UK's new raunchfest "Fur TV" we figured it was either a "Real World" for girls who don't shave or that MTV had decided to update "A Shot At Love" with a cast comprised entirely of furries (which we'd love). No such luck: "Fur TV" is a curious yet hilarious mix of "Meet The Feebles" and "Cribs", with a whole lot of lowbrow sex action and some very cute, underdressed UK babes humping puppets—which we also love, especially when their Paris Hilton sex video sendup gives us a taste of how hot that whole scene could have been, complete with a fluffy comeshot. Puppets hotter than Paris? Who'da thought?

· MTV UK: Fur TV (autoplay warning, mtv.co.uk)
· Fur TV: Sex Tape! (illegaladvertising.com, via Adrants)

Previously: Pornstar Bears, XXX Puppet Sex

When we're not busy licking our monitors every time her picture appears, we're singing the praises of bright rising starlet Lorelei Lee as often as we can to anyone who will listen—especially since this beauty's got brains to match, as evidenced by her recent interview in the San Francisco Chronicle in which she talks about the realities of getting into porn. And now that we got our hands on an exclusive new gallery of lickable Lorelei doing all the nasty things we love to see her do (always with a big sweet smile) ... well, we're crushing on her more than ever. Check out all the hardcore hotness featuring Lorelei's scenes from Fucking Machines, Hogtied and Sex and Submission after the jump ... and try not to get your cinema displays too messy.

Some might look at "Hey There Vagina" — a parody of Plain White T's "Hey There Delilah" that's been making the video sharing rounds lately — and merely giggle and shrug in a "those crazy kids!" kind of way. But when you're as cracked out on chocolate dick hats and pussy gravy as we are, it becomes a perfect storm of a whole new kind of vulva-tastic Goatse goodness. Because when we're all alone at night wandering the darkened halls of Fleshbot Central, singing about monkey pussy is one thing ... but having visions of vaginal football excretions performed to lo-fi acoustic songs about cooters reaches a new level of porn-flavored hell. You've been warned.

Lest you think that the term "geek" only describes one particular kind of eyeglass-wearing, D&D dice-tumbling genus, along comes a site like Geek Girls Online to remind us that there's a flavor of geek girl to satisfy any nerd fantasy you may have no matter how you happen fap, frag, or frack, depending on how you roll.

Giving a girl a box of chocolates for Valentine's day is so over; according to what we're finding in all the sweet free samples at Splosh A Girl, what a girl really wants for Valentine's Day is for you to take that heart-shaped box, melt down the contents, and then douse her with it both literally and liberally. There's something so cheery, so right-with-the-world about seeing how silly and giggly and smiley the amateur girls here get when they're pied, slathered with sauce and smeared with all kinds of custard and slippery confections that it's impossible for us not to want to try it ourselves. Except now we can't find the interns ...

· Splosh A Girl (sploshagirl.com)

Previously: Flesh Flicks: Splosh Me!

Not a collection of circus performers with MySpace pages, which is what it would be if this hardcore amateur blog was instead dedicated to the art of oddities and sideshow specialties. (Not that the girls on display don't have some very obvious specialties.) Freaks On MySpace is a nasty tribute to adult ladies (mostly strippers with MySpace pages) who post amateur nudie pics and ass-shaking videos, with respectively scraped thumbnail images and embedded videos, and their MySpace page links. FoMS states, "just pics of LEGAL AGED myspace jumps, hoes, skeezars, doodlebops, etc.. you get the picture. Sorry, no white girls......they bore us. Mostly black, latino, and other mixed young ladies for your viewing pleasure (...)". Thus the age-old expression, "Put it on MySpace, and they will come. (And blog it.)"

· Freaks On MySpace (freaksonmyspace.com, via del.icio.us)