Fleshbot

OK, we are so totally jealous: while we sit here playing endless games of Lumines and waiting for our first batch of UMD porn titles to arrive (which would probably get here faster if we actually remembered to order them first, but that’s not the point), the folks at Tokyopia got their hands on a copy of “The Palace of a Virgin” and posted a thorough review of the “awesome, feature-packed disc”, complete with screenshots. The verdict? Plenty of bang for the buck (or yen), despite the presence of the “Censoring Mosaic of Doom” ubiquitous to Japanese smut and a cheesy game in which “your goal is to press the O button to shoot a SQUIGGLY WHITE LIQUID into these groin-targets to score points”. (Actually, that sounds like something we’d gladly pay fifty bucks for along … but them we have a peculiar fondness for games involving squiggly white liquid and groin targets, and we just don’t come across such things as often as we’d like.)

“PSP Porn” (tokyopia.com)

See also: Hikaru Koto (gallery @ hotavmodel.com)

Previously: UMD Videos @ JList, PSP Porn Pinups, “Battle Raper 2”, GLAY’z Videos, Playboy Station Portable, PSP Pornpalooza!

Premiering tonight on HBO: filmmaker Liz Goldwyn’s documentary “Pretty Things”, which chronicles the rise and fall of the girlie show from the 1920s through the 1960s and “one young woman’s obsession with the long lost art of burlesque.” Who knew we had so much in common?

· “Pretty Things” (film info and interview @ hbo.com)
· “Pretty Things” (review @ filmthreat.com)

Previously: Meet Miss Delerium Tremens, BadAss Burlesque, Erocktica, Ziegfeld Girls @ Pretty Bloomers, “Strippers: The Untold History of the Girlie Show”, SuicideGirls Live Burlesque Tour: San Francisco, Burlesque Films

· We have no idea what Twisted Sisterz sounds like, but we’re pretty sure their status as Maxim UK’s “new favourite pop group” has more to do with their bikini Twister skills than their actual music. (maxim-magazine.co.uk, registration required*)

· Behold the forgotten X-rated creations of “king of pinball artists” Dave Christiansen; we particularly regret never having a “Big Dick” in our arcade when we were growing up. (positiveapeindex.blogspot.com, via Boing Boing)

· Believe it or not, there really is a tasteful way to report a news story about a man dying while having sex with a horse; Editor and Publisher shows you how. (editorandpublisher.com)

· Speaking of horse boinking, have you noticed that Matt Drudge seems a bit preoccupied with animal sex lately? You’re not alone. (underhyped.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives / Wet Spots Archives

Now that we’ve finally had a chance to see that hidden hardcore action in “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas”, we’re grateful to a reader for turning us on to a considerably tamer nude mod available for War of Warcraft—although we understand that not everyone is as curious and/or desperate as we are to sit through a twenty minute download just to catch a glimpse of a few naked female characters doing the Macarena and some simulated oral sex. Still, if you’re looking for a little hot gnome booty to make your online gaming experience more complete, you might want to check it out for yourself.

· “WoW Pron” (53 MB .avi video download @ filefront.com, and keep in mind that the term “porn” here is used very broadly - thanks Randy)
· “Lost my character’s underpants (really)” (WoW discussion forum @ allakhazam.com)

See also: “Girls Gone WoW” (oldie but goodie @ Kotaku)

Previously: GTA Sex Scene Video, Very Strange Sims, “Battle Raper 2”, “Sociolotron”, Red Light World, “7 SIns”, SeduCity, Sex and Gaming

· If there’s a better way to start the week than with some hot girl-on-girl mud wrestling action, we’d like to know what it is. (sexnfun.net)

· Then again, we’re also fans of waking up to hear about the latest developments in reverse-engineering tech and sex to make a better cunnilingus chair. Decicions, decisions … (functional-fun.biz, via Slashdong)

· Just think: if Nicole Kidman has never gotten over her aversion to kissing women, we might never have had the chance to see her slip Miranda Richardson the tongue in “The Hours” … which actually might’ve been okay now that we really think about it. (Hindustan Times + progressiveboink.com)

· But who cares about pasty homophobes when we can drool over The Top 12 Hottest Female Guitarists Ever? Not us. (outsideleft.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives / Wet Spots Archives

When we hear the words “get a room”, we usually head for the nearest Motel 6 instead of a classy high-rise lodging with themed accomodations and sunken multi-function bathtubs—which is probably why, for better or worse, we’ll never end up on this Japanese website featuring video broadcasts from a Tokyo love hotel offering “two rooms where any action that goes on is automatically beamed onto the Net to be viewed by paying subscribers”. (Sound familiar?) Japundit has the scoop if you want to view some free video samples in all their voyeuristic, pixelated glory; whether or not you want to check in yourself and run the risk of having the management catch you stealing towels or trying to figure out the intricasies of Japanese toilet operation is up to you.

· “Smile, you’re on Candid Camera” (japundit.com)
· “Exhibitionists air their dirty linen with ‘love hotel’ Net broadcasts” (mainichi-msn.co.jp)
· Hotel Nozoki: Neo Real Peeping (hotel-nozoki.jp; scroll down here for .wmv video samples)

See also: “Ancient Blog of Tokyo Love Hotels” (Gridskipper)

Previously: Nikkan Erog, NinjaShot, Hot Love in Prague, Bad Girls Hotel, Joanna: 25th Floor

· Behold the secret sign language of Brazilian women’s volleyball players … among other things. (Yahoo! News - thanks M.)

· Canned freon-wielding sibling site Defamer is all over the Cameron Diaz “sexy photos” trial today; we actually had to Google ourselves to remember what all the fuss is about. (defamer.com)

· So we think we figured out why people were so confused over Mariah Carey’s nip slip that wasn’t this week: maybe they were all looking in the wrong place? (underhyped.com)

· News flash: Peeing is fun. Pass it on. (dbasixx.com - thanks Sam)

Although Chic Fun describes itself as a site “dedicated to Erotic and Sarcastic Humor with a Touch of Design”, we’re finding it does considerably more than just give us a case of the giggles; after surveying a few of their recent themed galleries, we’re not sure whether we want to drool, gag, tee off, enroll in a herpetology class, or have a healthy snack. Isn’t it nice to find a porn site that manages to inspire you on so many levels?

Chic Fun (chicfun.com, via Sex Wrecks)

Previously: The Porn Hater, SickoGames, The Porn Cynic, Strange Porn, Awful Porn Reviews, Porn Bloopers, Adventures in Bad Porn

By this point we should be nonplussed by any perversities the Japanese sex doll manufacturing industry can dream up, but we’re finding these limbless but otherwise anatomically intact models even more disturbing than the similarly disembodied examples we came across a few weeks ago—unless we’re totally mistaken and they’re just novelty throw pillows dressed up to look like flight attendants and crossing guards. The included bottle of lotion in the package is a nice touch, though.

Sexual Cushion & Doll (dekunoboo.com, via Crazy Japan)

Previously: The Body Doll, Marshmallow Pussy, Japanese Sex Doll Watch, Torso Doll Smut, Extreme Furniture Hentai, Sex Toy of the Week Archive

· One has to admire the fearless Felicia Fox for shooting a porn scene in a Florida high school. Our art classes were never like this. (palmbeachpost.com)

· When the New York Times starts fetishisizing goth girls, it’s safe to assume we’ve reached some sort of crucial turning point in popular culture. We’ll let you know as soon as we figure out what it is. (nytimes.com)

· Nerve’s current bisexuality poll reveals the rather unstartling fact that most Nerve readers consider themselves “at least a little bit bisexual”. Maybe the New York Times isn’t as much of a cultural bellwether as they think. (Nerve + NYT, via Gawker)

It’s not for nothing that Mistress Kassandra was voted Best Dominatrix in New York City last year; aside from being whip-smart and extremely personable (not to mention a total knockout), we’re impressed by the attentive level of customer service and full disclosure she brings to her profession: “I am sorry to deflate anyone’s fantasy, but … my feet are not particularly stinky. I cannot accomodate any demands for strongly odiferous feet; it is just not feasible for me! I am happy to wear boots or sneakers prior to the session, but I do not want to raise false hopes for anyone.” If you need some discipline and don’t mind the scent of Thierry Mugler’s “Angel Innocent”, however, you could probably do worse than to give her a call.

Mistress Kassandra (mistresskassandra.com - thanks JM)

Proving once again that (1) no female television personality no matter how obscure is safe from pantingly devoted sexual objectification on the internet and (2) people will get off to just about anything, we present this lovingly curated gallery of screencaps culled from old episodes of “The Price Is Right” without further comment. (Actually, scratch that last part. We think that shot of Dian Parkinson gently cradling a bottle of moisturizer is kind of hot—and we don’t get off to just anything.)

“The Price Is Right” Swimsuit Central (tpirmodels.com, via Flaunting It)

Previously: Weather Channel Babes, More Weather Channel Babes, Sexy Newscasters, Sharon Reed: Nude Anchorwoman

Even if we never see another post from the author from this new blog devoted to exposing the secrets of “those that have made some of the most drastic and interesting technological advances on the web: those that run adult websites” (and we’re hoping he plans to stick around for a while), we’ll still be forever grateful to The Porn Hacker for explaining to us the intricasies of Fusker, a web content extraction tool long known to serious smuthounds as a way to fill up a hard drive with more free smut than you imagined possible.* (We also hear it can be used to find free passwords and backdoor entrances to certain paysites, but we wouldn’t know a thing about that. Honest.)

· “A Fusking We Will Go” (pornhacks.blogspot.com)