We're fairly certain that the bulk of our female readership is familiar with the ins and outs of female masturbation (this is a website about porn, after all), but on the chance that you're still a newbie — or complete newcomer — to the wonders of jilling off, you'll be happy to know that there's a Turkish newspaper that wants to help you out. Yes, ladies, it's true: in just ten simple steps (and with thirty minutes to several hours of free time), you, too, can learn to masturbate — maybe even to orgasm! On the chance that this thorough guide leaves you wanting, we've included some helpful resources (and video instruction) after the jump.

Natural Contours (Candida Royalle's sex toy line) was one of the first companies to offer classy looking, discreet vibrators — and over the many years they've been in business, they've added many wonderful additions to their line of vibes (and not a single jelly dong in sight!). Given their history of producing quality toys, and my history of enjoying quality toys, it's somewhat surprising that until last week, I'd never felt the caress of a Natural Contours vibe against my own natural contours.

Say Goodbye To Summer (Again)

It seems the Great Strap-On Experiment we told you about a few months ago must have had some success, because the same guy (or at least a very ardent copycat) is at it again. Allow us to introduce Bunny Tail Cleaner, a blog Tumblr documenting a man's search for a woman who will let him clean her house. Naked. With a bunny tail butt plug firmly ensconced in the rear. We're not sure if this is more or less kinky than the pegging search, but either way, we wish him luck. (Oh, and if anyone wants to send us a bunny tail butt plug to use around Fleshbot Central, just shoot us an email. We're always looking for ways to make housework more interesting.)

· Bunny Tail Cleaner (bunnytailcleaner.tumblr.com)
· Thumbnail via CFNM Porn (cfnmporn.net)

OhMiBod may have a name that's a clever(ish) play on one of the world's most instantly recognizable brands, and their most famous products may be iPod-compatible vibrators. But that shouldn't lead you to think that they're a one trick sex toy company: in addition to their Apple-centric vibes, they also make vibrators that work with any cell phone, one of which managed to land in my lap last week.

The Boditalk Escort is a small pink bullet vibe. But, unlike other bullet vibes, this one has the ability to vibe in sync with your cell phone (or iPhone). But will its call make you come? Or will it make you want to send it straight to voicemail? And how exactly does the darn thing work?

Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The Curvy Lover Stroker

Fleshbot's pixel restrictions prevent me showing this device to you as it looked attached like a naughty koala to the better part of my person. But if you've ever imagined shrinking an enemy and then fucking it like some cultural exchange between certain native tribes and the Porn Valley Chamber of Commerce, then the Curvy Woman Stroker is for you!