Fleshbot

Faster, Higher, Naked-er: 21 Nude Olympic Athletes [2008 Olympics]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 14:15:00 EDT

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Did you know that the athletes at the ancient Olympic Games competed in the nude? Of course there were also no babes allowed back then—so although we have progressed in some ways, don't you think that the 29th Olympiad would be more exciting if they brought back a few traditions? Fortunately, there have been plenty of combatants throughout the years who have defied modern convention and its unitards so that sports fans might marvel at the perfection of the human form. And you didn't think we forgot about those other paragons of sport, did you? After all, following tradition is what the Olympic spirit is all about.

. . .

* * * * *

Previously: Faster, Higher, Sexier: 20 Hot Summer Olympic Athletes, More Olympics coverage @ olympics.deadspin.com

Does The Jenna have a bun in the oven? That ... [MILFwatch]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:40:49 EDT

Does The Jenna have a bun in the oven? That is to say: is she knocked up, with child, expecting, barefoot and/or preggers? Will the child have her mom's eyes or her dad's ability to crush a man's skull with his bare hands? And most important of all: will anyone still care in nine months? (nypost.com)

Germans are apparently complaining that they ... [Questions Of Travel]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:25:03 EDT

Germans are apparently complaining that they can't go on vacation to Turkey without the Russians coming down and spoiling everything with their "whores and vodka". Um, aren't whores and vodka pretty much the reason you would go on vacation to begin with? (thelocal.de; thumb and vodka gallery via assexyasitgets.com)

You Asked For It: Hot Straight Men ... And The Women Who Fuck Them [Fleshbot Requests]

Lux Nightmare — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:15:06 EDT

Now that Playgirl has bid us farewell, straight women (or at least women who like to look at peen) are clamoring for a new source of hot, naked, straight men. (Okay, maybe they were clamoring before the end of Playgirl, too.) Good thing we were able to find some. Though straight porn tends to be focused more on the female talent, there's still a steady supply of hot studs putting the "jizz" in the jizz biz — and, at the request of Tropical Paradise, Ms Naughty, and lonbordin, we've rounded up some of them for your inspection after the jump. (Oh, and for those who are more boob-inclined, fear not: there are plenty of hot babes in the photos too. After all, how else could we prove that these guys are straight?)

. . .

New Models Roll Off The Nuts Assembly Line [This Week In Lad Mags]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:55:03 EDT

As Ford and General Motors could tell you (before they lost $100 gazillion dollars last quarter), you can't just keep churning out the same products year after year. You need to innovate or watch as the competition passes you by. That's also the philosophy of Nuts magazine, which is more than happy to pump out photos of classic favorites like Lucy Pinder and Sophie Howard, but also has an active R&D department putting together new, impressively busty babes for your enjoyment. Their two latest entries in the market are the sleek and sporty Rosie and the high-octane Dylan, who may also be the magazine's first and only redhead. If only Detroit was so devoted to giving the people what they wanted—these two could stop even high gas prices in their tracks.

· Dylan and Rosie (galleries @ nuts.co.uk)

Lily Allen Shows Us A Nip (And Keeps Two To Herself) [Celebrity Third Nipplewatch]

Lux Nightmare — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:50:22 EDT

It seems we can't go too far without running into Lily Allen's nipples these days. But it's not like we're complaining or anything. How often do we get to see a pair of famous boobs that and get to make a joke about third nipples at the same time? Gallery after the jump.

. . .

Doing It For (Somebody's) Daddy: Top Ten DILF Sex Videos [Hardcore]

Lux Nightmare — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:25:00 EDT

Between the yummy mummies and the MILFs, mothers get a lot of attention these days. But what about all the dads out there? Don't they deserve some love too? Or at least a good, hard shag? Father's Day may have passed us by, but it's never too late to offer up a tribute to all the DILFs who make our lives so special with their tender, caring touch. If you're somebody's daddy—or at least old enough to be one—then you're someone we'd like to ... well, you know. (And if you don't, see what we mean after the jump.)

. . .

Girl seduces her friend's father and makes him cum (megarotic.com)

Daughter fucks dad while mom sleeps (redtube.com)

Fucked by an older man (megarotic.com)

Meri gets anal from Daddy's friend (pornhub.com)

Olivia de Treville - Family Affairs (megarotic.com)

Father eats out Babysitter's Pussy (redtube.com)

Dad Fucks girlfriend Daughter(18) (megarotic.com)

Step dad and girl in bathtub

Fucking Daughter of HIs Friend-01 (megarotic.com)

Farmers Daughter! (megarotic.com)

Today is apparently International Orgasm ... [Fake Holidays]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:02:27 EDT

Today is apparently International Orgasm Day, which is not to be confused with the UK's National Orgasm Day or Global Orgasm Day or Cosmic Orgasm Day. With all these orgasms going on, we're going to have to start scheduling them into our day planner. (thenaughtyamerican.com)

The title of this gallery from Vice is "Four ... [Nudes]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 11:25:06 EDT

The title of this gallery from Vice is "Four Naked Women Who Are Not My Wife And One Naked Woman Who Is", which surely wins the award this week for ... er, something. We're not sure which one is the wife and which ones are not, but if anyone of them wanted to tie us down to the old ball and chain you wouldn't hear any complaints. (viceland.com)

The Way Of The Ninja: Secret Sex Techniques Revealed! [Porn Ninjas!]

Lux Nightmare — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 11:15:29 EDT

The perpetrator of Maria Ozawa's "Female Ninja Rape" may still be at large, but at least this clip gives us some idea of what it might look like. Contrary to popular belief, ninjas leave their lightning quick in-and-out moves at the bedroom door—which is probably for the best, given that they also seem to have quite the taste for anal sex. Nevertheless, in true ninja fashion they're never without their swords. After all, those things can come in quite handy during foreplay.

. . .

· Fierce Ninja Sex (megarotic.com)

Kim Kardashian, Quick Change Bikini Artist [Celebrity Bikini Watch]

Lux Nightmare — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:45:48 EDT

We're not sure if these pictures are from two different days, or if Kim Kardashian happened to change suits in the middle of the day ... but we're pretty miffed at whatever photographer dropped the ball and didn't get pictures of the inbetween naked time. On the plus side, Kim does look pretty damn hot in her bikinis. Almost hot enough to make us forget that she's not naked! Click thumbnail for gallery.

. . .

Leather_Son Is In The Hawt Seat [Today In Masturbation]

sturtle — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:40:10 EDT

We have two questions for Xtube user Leather_Son: where have you been hiding, and when are you posting another video of yourself jacking and moaning and sniffing your pits and popping a huge, sticky load? Actually, we don't care so much about the first answer—as long as the second one is "immediately". Click the thumbnail to see why we want to see more.

. . .

• Leather_Son @ Xtube

Fleshbot Comments: Gt Pwnd [Change Is Good]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:30:56 EDT

The sentient robots that constructed the Gawker Media Matrix and enslaved us in the wheels of this giant blogging machine have given us a new toy to play with. It's called disemvoweling and with the click of a button it gives us the power to remove all the vowels from any one of your comments! Why would we want to do this? Good question!

It's basically a way to moderate questionable or offensive comments without completely nuking the discussion or the commenter. So if you happen to notice that one of your comments has been gutted, that means you've probably crossed a line and should think more carefully before you speak. (Or risk a permanent ban.) But how do you do that? Also a good question! You should review our comments policy and also Lifehacker's Guide To Not Being An Online Jerk, but the bottom line is don't be mean (to us, fellow commenters, or especially the naked people), don't be obnoxious, and don't be boring. Not that any of our brilliant and witty commenters need to be reminded of that, right?

The poor fellow underneath the sheet here ... [Ouch]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:01:00 EDT

The poor fellow underneath the sheet here is not dead—he's merely being extracted from a rather delicate situation. And by that we mean his penis is being extracted from the steel bench that he tried to hump. Just so you know, if you're desperate to try a metal cock ring there are better ways to go about it. (weirdasianews.com)

Three years ago, the Houston police confiscated ... [Sex Toys]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 09:34:09 EDT

Three years ago, the Houston police confiscated $50,000 worth of toys from a local sex shop and now that the charges have been dropped and they want their property back ... all the evidence has mysteriously gone missing. If only there was someone you could turn to when your things get stolen! (chron.com + avn.com)

"Bear Oasis" Gets Hairy In The Palms [Porn Of The Moment]

sturtle — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 09:15:03 EDT

We understand that bears are not everyone's cup of tea. Sure, they're becoming a lot more mainstream these days, but they're still a little fetishy for a lot of garden variety twink-loving pornoisseurs out there. So we understand that companies making porn for bear enthusiasts don't have as much money to spend on their productions as, say, Michael Lucas.

But still: in 2008, when you can't swing a cat without hitting a fifth grader with mad Photoshop skillz, can't Pantheon, you know, swing a cat and find someone who understands the concept of "magenta" (the color, not the character in "Rocky Horror"), who could've looked at the box cover for "Bear Oasis" and said, "My, but those bears seem awfully pink"? 'Cause Rik Kappus and Marc Angelo are looking slightly Easter eggy or slightly albinoish, depending on the light—and it's making us hesitate to think about what their manly touches must feel like. And we know that's not the way they look in the video, because we've seen the hot, sexy, furry trailer. Please to fix now?

That said, we are srsly crushing on Dan Rhodes; In fact, we think he should star in a giant fetish bear video, which Pantheon could conveniently title "Colossus of Rhodes". In the meantime, we love his hot, sexy, bald head and would like to see more of it—especially on the box cover, even though right now there's something about the way it's lopped off just above the eyebrows that feels a little "Boxing Helena" to us. Please to also fix now?

Design quibbles aside, though, "Bear Oasis" is one of the hottest release—ursocentric or otherwise—to cross our inbox in a while. Sometimes, you just can't judge a book by its shoddily designed cover.

• "Bear Oasis" at TLAvideo and PantheonMen.com (includes trailer)

Hot Sponsor Creampie [Sponsors]

Fleshbot — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 08:05:33 EDT

Pucker up and show some hot, sweet love to the sponsors who helped keep the flesh in Fleshbot this week:

Adam & Eve • Adult Reality Pass • Adult Rental • Boner Guide • Broke Straight Boys • Camera Boys * DVDtube • First Auditions * Gay.com • Hustler • Hustler’s Asian Fever • iFunSpace • Live Jasmin • Lonely Cheating Wives • Mydirtybookstore.com • Platinum Club * Rabbit’s Reviews • Rocco Siffredi • Sexywebcam.com

Your name here: Advertise on Fleshbot!

Popshots of the Week! The Long And Short Of It [You Are There]

Gram Ponante — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:15:19 EDT

As the lithe Audrey Elson might tell you, sometimes the best outfit is no outfit at all. Lounging on the set of the Anabolic production of director Ivan's "Creampie Explosions 3"—yes, they said it couldn't be made—the 5'10" Elson makes a good case for never wearing anything again.

Join us after the gap for more Popshots, in which we show porn stars not as the world sees them but how they really are.

. . .

Elson and Sascha—America's hardest-working male German porn performer!—discuss an issue common to every couple: Whither creampie?

Across town, tiny Destiny dons a kabuki mask and a strap-on (read my article in September's Atlantic Monthly: Rejected Kiss Army Accessories) for David Aaron Clark's "Asia Noir 6."

The striking Coco Velvett slowly melted into that couch for the next 45 minutes as Destiny turned into a demon.

In posh Bel-Air, bite-sized Teagan modeled her new breasts for photographer Holly Randall. "They actually bunce when I run," said Teagan.

Meanwhile, Roxy DeVille says, "Hello, Fleshbot Readers!"

"People would tell me about your ass, Teagan, " said the towering DeVille, "but I really had to see it to believe it. Oh My Fucking God."

"Naked Aces 5": Shay Jordan Saves The Day! [Chicks With Guns]

DCypher — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:30:51 EDT

Law abiding citizens everywhere will be happy to know that the big gun-packing quintet of sexy crime fighters known as the Naked Aces have returned for the fifth time in the form of Digital Playground contract stars Riley Steele and Shay Jordan along with überhottie Shawna Lenee, sexpot Kelly Devine, and the adorable Daisy Marie. You may be happy to hear this news even if you don't happen to abide by the law. In fact, you might even find yourself committing random acts of criminality just to see what they'll do to you if they catch you.

In this latest "trick" from director Robby D., it appears that evil ninja Tommy Gunn has created a sneaky website that will make men want to hump baked goods and lotion bottles (and has also made Robby shoot the ensuing brouhaha in 1970’s inspired sex-o-matic-vision). When Shay Jordan learns that she will no longer be able to ride hard cock because of this, she can barely stutter out her protest before sending her angels out to save the day and defeat her evil, oily-muscled nemesis.

It's clear that these women will stop at nothing to keep the world safe for boner-loving babes everywhere ... and we mean nothing! (In porn terms, that means ... well, you probably already know what it means. But peep our exclusive preview gallery below just to be sure.)

• "Naked Aces 5" Preview Gallery
• "Naked Aces 5" (DVD info + trailer @ digitalplayground.com)
• "Naked Aces 5" (Adult DVD Empire)

Asia Carrera's Final Frontier [Flesh Flicks]

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:41:36 EDT

We all look forward to a future where virtual reality and automated dual-pleasuring fembots allow us to have thoroughly realistic sex with any pornstar of our choosing. But what if the pornstars don't want us? What if, instead of replicating themselves for our carnal amusement, they build their own series of Terminator-like fuckborgs that never age, never get tired and never forget the foreplay? When that day arrives, it will be dark one indeed for us air-breathing meatbags.

. . .

· "spaceship fuck" (Megarotic)

Case Closed: Mai Nadasaka Will See You Now [Porn Scene Investigation]

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:11:58 EDT

As always, the wisdom of our vast, handsome readership prevails and our mysterious "Modellismo Giapponesina" has been identified. Mai Nadasaka (or Nadasaka Mai, depending on which search engine you ask) is the previously unknown big breasted Japanese babe in question. Now that we know that, we like her even more. Sure, we don't really know anything else besides her name, but when you're ogling a beautiful woman, isn't it nice to know what you would call her if you were ever stuck in an elevator with her and you both had to take your clothes off to survive? (It could happen!) The moral of the story: In the porn world, no mystery stays a mystery for long. Good work, team! See the fruits of your labor below.

. . .

· Mai Nadasaka 5 (dailymotion.com)
· Mai Nadasaka - Japanese AV (mai-nadasaka.com)
· Mai Nadasaka (mainadasaka.com)

Previously: Fleshbot PSI: Who's That "Modellismo Giapponesina"?

Faster, Higher, Sexier: 20 Hot Summer Olympic Athletes [2008 Olympics]

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:00:00 EDT

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Tomorrow is the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics, where the world's greatest athletes will gather to compete in contests of legendary skill and strength and compare the definition of their ab muscles. For sports fans—and fans of tight and toned bodies—it's also a great opportunity for sight seeing. We recommend the swimming or beach volleyball venues, since they tend to have the fittest girls and the skimpiest outfits. However, there are beautiful babes in every sport and discipline so to celebrate the lighting of the torch we offer this gallery of smoking hot Summer Olympic athletes past and present. Let the Games begin!

. . .

Evan Seinfeld, Rock Star Pimp [Celebrity]

Lux Nightmare — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:35:00 EDT

While he's certainly not the only rock star turned pornstar (Hi, Gene!), and we wouldn't really consider him the first celebrity pornstar (aren't all pornstars celebrities?), but we're still excited about the debut of Evan Seinfeld, a.k.a. Spyder Jonze, a.k.a. Mr. Tera Patrick's porn site, Rock Star Pimp. For one thing, it's just cool to see someone cross from mainstream celebrity into porn celebrity rather than the other way around. For another, the site features hardcore scenes with likes of Rebecca Linares, Teagan Presley, and (obviously) Tera Patrick. Oh, and we guess Evan is probably in there, too!

· Rock Star Pimp (rockstarpimp.com, via Naked City)

Fratmen's Gil Is Giving Us A Toothache [Beefcake Watch]

sturtle — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:50:46 EDT

We've been taking a lot of long, hard looks at Gil, one of the newest models at Fratmen, and we have to admit: there's just something so ... plowable about the guy. That sweet, innocent smile! Those sweet, innocent asscheeks! It's kinda like looking at a king size Snickers bar that's been sitting in the fridge in the company break room for, like, two weeks, just staring you in the face, waiting to be opened up and ravished, and you don't know who put it there but surely they wouldn't mind if you just stuffed it down your throat right? Right? (No, those aren't especially healthy thoughts. But we're also trying to work through some stuff about our coworkers and candy at the moment, so bear with us.) (starrfucker.net; more @ fratmen.tv)

If you're at a beach right now ... we hate ... [Beach Bunnies]

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:40:00 EDT

If you're at a beach right now ... we hate you. But the rest of us can perhaps find some solace in this gallery of naked amateur beach bunnies. You don't even need suntan lotion. (Wait, maybe you will....) (phun.org)

Here's a tip for Craigslist casual encounters ... [Public Sex Alert]

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:20:28 EDT

Here's a tip for Craigslist casual encounters fans: If you're going to meet a stranger for some light bondage play, maybe do it in a nice quiet hotel room so, you know ... innocent bystanders don't think you are raping a bound-and-gagged kidnap victim in a public park. It makes it much harder to explain things to your wife later. (katu.com)

Cindy Crawford Reminds Us Of Something (Hint: Her Nipples) [Celebrity Nipplewatch]

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:00:00 EDT

Cindy Crawford may be "retired" or whatever it is supermodels do when they stop walking down runways and just spend all of their time hanging out on yachts with their swimsuit tops off so that the paparazzi can take pictures of them, which is kind of like modeling in its own way, but ... wait, what were we talking about again? Oh, yeah—we still want to see Cindy Crawford naked. Old habits die hard.

Nerve Picks The Fifty Hottest Music Videos [Listmania]

Lux Nightmare — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:45:03 EDT

What makes a music video sexy? Apparently, more than just booty shaking and lowcut tops. Nerve has compiled a list of the "50 Sexiest Music Videos Of All Time," and though we might not classify all of them as "sexy," with everything from New York lesbians rapping about eating pussy to the likes of Britney Spears and Robert Palmer, it's got to be better than whatever MTV is showing these days. (nerve.com)

Inside Scoop: RJ Danvers Is Good "To The Last Man" [Pornstar Life]

sturtle — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:30:44 EDT

If you're as intrigued as we are by Raging Stallion's upcoming flick, "To The Last Man", then you'll be even more intrigued by this recent post by the adorable RJ Danvers, who gives a bit of inside news about the scenes he's filming this weekend: he'll be doing a three-way with Tristan Jaxx and Jimmy Tripp and a one-on-one with Bo Matthews. According to RJ, the location is "a totally remote area of Phoenix, AZ", so we're not sure what to expect by way of scenery. But we're guessing it'll be something between "abandoned strip mall" and "subdivision-in-process". Pack extra lube and a Zone Bar or two, boys: the nearest CVS is probably at least twenty minutes away. (rjdanversxxx.blogspot.com)

Turkey's ruling party is planning a new law ... [Censorship]

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:25:02 EDT

Turkey's ruling party is planning a new law that requires everyone who buys porn to sign for and register their purchase with the government, as if they were buying a gun or a car. Also, anyone under 18 would not be allowed in an internet cafe or a night club. Of course, the party itself was this close to being declared illegal and disbanded by Turkey's courts, so it sounds like they have their own issues to deal with. (hurriyet.com + newstatesman.com)

Playgirl Is Dead, Long Live Playgirl! [Milestones]

Lux Nightmare — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:15:00 EDT

The paper edition of Playgirl may be bidding us a fond farewell, but it will always live on in our hearts—and thanks to the efforts of diligent archivists, at least a part of Playgirl (i.e., the pictures of naked men) will live on forever in cyberspace, too. The past week has seen many a tribute to Playgirl and for good reason. As sex columnist and Fleshbot Crush Object Jamye Waxman points out, "Playgirl was always built around the idea that women wanted a place where they could proclaim their sexual desires"—an unfortunately all too rare idea in our culture.

Of course, some say that it maybe did more for the sexual desires of gay men than straight women, but that's neither here nor there. It still put forth (and proved) the notion that women did want more than just sexy stories and dirty books, and that porn made for women could be a viable business. And for that, we will always be grateful ... even if Playgirl may not have given ladies exactly what they wanted (coughhardcockscough). Well, nobody's perfect.

. . .

· Playgirl Models Alphabetical by First Name (1973-1995) (blackdogue.net)
· Playgirl Comes To The End Of Its Road (bestweekever.tv)
· Playgirl: Naked No More (jamyewaxman.com)
· "Goodnight, Sweet Hunks: A former editor offers a Playgirl postmortem" (radaronline.com)

You've Read The Rest, Now Read The Best Sex Bloggers [Sex Blogs]

Lux Nightmare — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:00:00 EDT

Has our Sex Blog Roundup whet your appetite for further adventures in the sex blogiverse? Well, if you're going to start exploring, you might as well start with the best—or at least with "The Best Sex Bloggers," a group blog featuring the self-proclaimed best sex bloggers and photographers on the net. Whether or not they're actually the best is obviously a matter of opinion—but we certainly found ourselves aroused and intrigued as we paged through the entries. What was that about the pen being mightier than ... something?

· The Best Sex Bloggers (bestsexbloggers.com)

Here Comes Taylor Rain Again [Flesh Flicks]

Lux Nightmare — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 11:29:53 EDT

Taylor Rain is a woman on a mission: she's here to take her clothes off, walk around, give a blowjob, and get a messy facial. If only our government were so determined and forthright in its goals—although, presumably, walking around naked and giving blowjobs to everyone wouldn't do much to help our current foreign (or domestic) troubles. Then again....

. . .

· Public Facial (megarotic.com)

The World Of Hunkcraft: Old Skool Gay-For-Pay [Challenges]

sturtle — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 11:15:44 EDT

Despite the fact that we take looking at porn very seriously around here, we love goofing off too. And apart from foosball, mumbletypeg, and touching ourselves Down There, one of our favorite ways of goofing off is with Flash games. Sexy, homo-flavored Flash games, to be precise. They're usually short, often funny, and occasionally kinda hot. Hunkcraft definitely fits all three of those categories: You play the role of a painter in Olden Tymes, way back before the internets and cell phones and even Pac Man, and your objective is to seduce a hot, hunky dumbass named Dorcas (har!). See, he's modeling for you because he and his wife are going through a rough patch and need the money. But will you be suave enough to see the money shot? If you play your cards right, it'll take about two minutes to get through to the end—which, oddly enough, is about a minute longer than we can put up with some real life gays-for-pays!

• Hunkcraft (Flash @ anonib.com, via queermenow.net)

New York magazine asked several celebrities ... [Public Nudity]

Lux Nightmare — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 10:58:00 EDT

New York magazine asked several celebrities whether they'd go naked in public. Sadly, they didn't provide photo evidence from the ones who said yes. Put up or shut up, people! (nymag.com, thumb via free.publicsluts.com via Ask Jolene)

"The Best Hand Job In Town" [Great Moments In Marketing]

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 10:30:36 EDT

An Elgin, Illinois, car wash recently caused a bit of a kerfuffle by advertising their machine-free towel dry service as "the best hand job in town." Even more amusing than the hysterical reaction of the townsfolk—or that the local paper can't bring themselves to say the offending phrase—is the owner's defense that this is standard industry "lingo" and if you don't believe her then you morons should just Google it. Well, we didn't, so we did and you know what? She's right! So does that mean "hand job" is just a part of boring everyday business jargon ... or do all car wash owners simply have the same sick sense of humor? Check out our rogue's advertising gallery below and decide for yourself.

. . .

* * * * *

· Google Image Search for "best hand job in town" (google.com)
· Car wash promises best ' hand job ' in town (upi.com)
· Elgin car wash sign: Lewd or just lingo?
· Related: Car Wash Promises Best Hand Job

Joanna Krupa shows off her wares in the ... [Joanna Krupa]

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 10:10:00 EDT

Joanna Krupa shows off her wares in the German issue of Maxim, which should make window shoppers everywhere quite happy. (dailypoa.com)

Budding porn magnate Mandy Morbid is also ... [Spotted]

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:15:24 EDT

Budding porn magnate Mandy Morbid is also some kind of Los Angeles style icon. We're not sure why anyone would want to take pictures of her with her clothes on, but to each his own we guess. (laist.com)

Vacuumed-Packed, So You Know It's Good! [Today In Masturbation]

sturtle — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:10:03 EDT

For those of you intrigued by our last Shop-Vac masturbation exposé (come on, we know you're out there), we now direct you to Tube8 user vicshorny, who has not one but two vacuum-themed videos—both shot from the front. You know, in case you were confused by the physics of it all. Also of interest is vicshorny's other video, "Man with his doll". (No, it doesn't really look like the same guy, but as long as he's treating his inflatable lover right, we're not going to complain.)

• vicshorny @ tube8.com; see videos here and here

Previously: Things That Suck: Or, How Not To Spend Time In The Toolshed

Fleshbot OMG: What Lies Beneath [This Week In Porn Titles]

Gram Ponante — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:00:21 EDT

I can't say whether or not this will be a regular feature, but out of the hundreds of porn titles I receive each week at Fleshbot West few if any inspire a vocal reaction. Fewer still require my showing this to te proprietors of every Korean travel agency along the hallway. You've probably already guessed (because you're brilliant) but I found myself understanding how Civil War General Ben Butler felt when he said that the look of things in the north did not prepare him for conditions in the south.

This DVD is in our possession and we promise to document all the wild goings on therein. We will figure out what the deal is with the dude on the right and see why ur covergirl looks eerily like Tera Patrick on the back cover.

· Cine X Latino (cinexlatino.com)
· Watch "Out Of Control Travestis 2" (adultemart.com)

Best Of Babelogs: National Fresh Breath Day Edition [Babes]

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:45:55 EDT

Because four out of five dentists recommend it ...

· Angela (babeslog.net)
· Ashley Robbins (closepics.com)
· Elena (mybigtitsbabes.com)
· Gina (pmates.com)
· Giselle (theomegaproject.org)

· Justine (kindgirls.com)
· Karima (labatidora.net)
· Karlie Montana (babesdump.net)
· Lia (sensualarousalblog.com)
· Lizzie (hq69.com)

· Maci (doctorteen.com)
· Mindy (sweettanda.com)
· Reagan Yun (baberoad.com)
· Sandra Shine (babe-lounge.com)

· Sara Stokes (babe-envy.com)
· Sunny Leone (morazzia.com)
· Yami (pinkems.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Best of Babelogs Archive