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Marital Aid Test Kitchen: JimmyJane's Form 4 Vibrator

April 13, 2011 | Posted in Editorial Features by lux-alptraum

YouPorn did us the favor of using its AI to predict this year's impending biggest porn searches, thanks to a trained recurrent neural network - the same thing people have trained to make those dastard Christmas carols. It's... not right, but so right at the same time. You know what I mean? The results all sound very Cronenberg to me, but hey, what do I know? 

 

These are my personal favorite Porn Searches of the Future. Can't wait to live in a world where I can own a dangcuble.

Girl Time Flanty

Is it a nude resort in an obscure country? The title of a porn parody period piece? A type of dance?? 

Grandjob

Not sure if this is a really good blow job, or a hand job given to a grandpa. I imagine both would be popular. 

German Mom Hour

If I ever start a band, this is what I'm going to name it. 

Lesbian Masturbinge

I know one thing's for sure: Masturbinge is my new favorite word. 

Doot sex

This sounds like the kind of sex you have to ska music. 

Pussy Firking

Not to be confused with pussy fracking.

Senator Stormy

I see the AI is predicting a promotion for Stormy Daniels. 

Anal Dangcuble

This sounds like it hurts.

Shy Ol' Mate

Everyone deserves a little appreciation, you know? 

Batish My Yisel

Will try this out as dirty talk next time I have sex and report back. 

Big Blomjob

I don't want to know how much cum is involved in this. 

Wow

Nothing else - just wow. 

Tagged in: jimmyjane , marital aid test kitchen , reviews , sex toys , vibrators ,

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