Yes, we know that Valentine's Day is a totally overblown, commercialized monstrosity of a holiday that's designed to make the coupled among us feel guilty for not doing enough to show our significant others how much we care and the noncoupled among us to feel like worthless pieces of crap for not having a significant other to begin with. That said, there's really no way around it: even if you choose to ignore the whole thing, you're likely still investing in it by the mere fact of your resistance. (Sucks how things work out like that, doesn't it?) So, you might as well get out your wallet and get ready to celebrate the joys of hearts, flowers, and commercialized love ... and hopefully, some dirty loving, too. Whether you're just starting out with someone, celebrating years of togetherness, or sitting at home by yourself, we've got the perfect gifts for you to give (or get) to make sure this Valentine's Day is one to remember. Or at least one that doesn't suck too bad.
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Just Getting Started
If you've recently met someone, you already know that starting a relationship around Valentine's Day can be a little tricky: on one hand, you want to let your love (or lust) interest know that you like them, but on the other you don't want to risk getting carried away with the whole hearts and flowers routine and scaring them off. So you need a gift that's sweet and cute enough without being too, like, intense.
So If you're just getting to know your date, you'll want to keep it safe -- and what's safer than chocolate? Babeland's Bliss Truffles are a tasty little treat, with just a hint of naughtiness to let your special someone know you're looking to take things to the next level.
Starting to explore the sexy side of things, but not quite sure how far you can take it? Give your partner a copy of Ellen Forney's "Lust". Loaded with illustrations of ads from The Stranger's adult personals, it's a great way to open the door for discussing different kinks you might be interested in exploring. And remember: if your would-be partner seems creeped out by anything you come across, you can always pretend you meant it as a joke.
If things are really starting to heat up, you might as well fan the flames with a good old fashioned game of Truth or Dare. The delightfully named Thrusti Kicki Grabbi offers an updated version of this classic that's sure to get things hot and heavy. Bbut you don't have to take our word for it: it's sex blogger approved!
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(Still) Happy Together
Of course, Valentine's Day should always be special whether it's your first, or fifth, or fiftieth one together. But after the first few times round the bend, things can get a little stale: after all, there are only so many different ways to say "I love you", and even fewer ways to say it with flowers. If you're dreading yet another round of the same old same old, check out a few gift ideas to make sure your big night is anything but ordinary.
Sometimes a change of location is all it takes to get things going again - and if it's a change of location that happens to come with sex toys, even better! This Valentine's Day, check in to New York's Bryant Park Hotel and be sure to check out their sex toy room service menu brought to you by the Pleasure Chest. Sure beats anything else you'll find lurking in the minibar. (Except maybe the Toblerone. We love Toblerone).
If a new location isn't doing it for you, maybe you need a few new tricks up your sleeve. So treat yourself and your partner to some adult education. Whether you're brushing up on your blowjobs, shaking your tassels or shooting your own porn, you'll be sure to pick up some skills that will, in fact, bring the sexy back (as teh kids are all saying these days).
Or maybe you need some outside influence to help heat things up. If you're too shy for the swing clubs and too, uh, real for Real Dolls, why not try some good old fashioned porn? Fleshbot crush object Jamye Waxman's "Toying With Pleasure" could be just the assistance you need: couples-focused porn that manages to both educate and titillate, it's a great way to ease into a hot night at home.
At Home Alone
Think Valentine's Day is for wankers? You're right! You may not have a special someone else, but it's still the perfect day to celebrate the most important person in your life: yourself. Start the evening out right by taking the time to relax and show yourself that you still care: light some candles, slip into a bubble bath, and let yourself unwind. And once you're all loosened up ...
Sure, you could just spend the evening with your old pal Rosie Palm (and her five sisters) - but why not make tonight special? If you're feeling a bit spendy, spring for JimmyJane's Little Platinum Eternity: nothing says "I love (to touch) myself" quite like platinum and diamonds. Can't afford the real thing? There's always the Velvet Jewel Vibe, which we hear is just as good. And for the boys: give your hand the night off and let the Fleshlight do the work. Or at least invest in some decent lube. You'll thank yourself in the morning.
If you're more into porn than toys -- or believe that one just isn't as much fun without the other -- look into some quality wank material to get things going. "Upload" didn't win all those awards at the AVNs this year for nothing, you know. For boy on boy action, Lucas Entertainment's "Gigolo" hits all the right spots. Sure, treating yourself to a new porn DVD is a little more expensive than finding something on Fleshbot to fap over for free, but it's Valentine's Day ... don't you deserve the very best?